A couple of months ago we met 18 year old Dean Pallister from Darlington, who shared his story about coming to terms with his sexuality, dealing with bullies at school and how he was still too scared to tell his parents about his sexuality. So imagine how thrilled we were when Dean recently got in touch to inform us that rather a lot had changed in his life.
Last time we spoke, you told us that you hadn’t told your parents that you were gay. Remind us why you hadn’t
I hadn’t told my parents over the fear of losing them. You see, my dad had made quite derogatory comments about gay men over the years so never felt right about saying anything.
So what gave you the courage to finally tell your mum and dad?
Well, I met this amazing boy called Ben and I think everything changed for me then. He made me feel confident and stronger in myself. He walked straight into my life in a way no one ever has. I normally have this wall that I don’t let people over, but he just broke it down and I was just proud to be me. One day, Ben and I went for a day out to Eden camp and just opened up to each other about everything and the topic of coming out came up. And my original plan was to tell my parents when I went to uni this September because I would be away from it all. But he encouraged me to just tell them, to be open and free and let them know.
How did you do it?
I told my parents through text because I knew I wouldn’t be able to get the words out in person. I could barely breathe, waiting for a reply. I was that scared but they were so accepting. It was such a surprise, but a good surprise. They said they already knew but they wanted me to say it. They asked me if I was happy and then that all they wanted for me is to be happy.
How does Ben give you confidence?
He allows me to be me. To understand things and help me. In my past relationship, I didn’t feel like me. I felt like I had to be a shell of me but with him now I feel like I can say things I couldn’t say before and show my feelings. Talk things over and even in some cases cry. I don’t feel afraid anymore.
How did you meet?
We met through Tinder. We matched each other and he messaged me first and I just looked at his profile and thought he looked really nice so obviously messaged back. We were talking for about four or five days and decided to meet up and just see how it felt. It moved pretty quickly in the fact we went to Whitby the next day and I asked him to be my boyfriend. It’s a decision I wouldn’t ever look back on. It’s the best thing that’s every happened to me. It’s only been a month and a half but I’ve not felt this feeling before for anyone.
Have your parents met Ben?
They have met him and yes I was so scared when they did. They grilled him in a nice way but it was very nerve wracking in case there wasn’t a spark between them. He makes me happy and they can see that so they’re happy for us. Other members of my family now know about me being gay and my boyfriend and I like the feeling of being open and free.
How does the future look?
Right now the future looks amazing. So many more memories to make and so much more to learn about each other. There’s one time in your life where you can feel that ‘last forever’ feeling and with my boyfriend I feel that. I want to make him happy and make him feel special for a long time to come.
If you have an amazing story like Dean’s please get in touch at hello@guyslikeu.com
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