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‘I went from a bullied closeted bookworm to posing in underwear online!‘

June 16, 2020, 1:30 am
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These days, you just can’t innocently thumb your way through Instagram without coming across a hunk or two. Of course, gay guys dont all lie the same thing. Some like slender, smooth bodied chaps, while others get hot and horny if they can run their sticky paws all over a gleaming mountainous gut. Some have a peen-teasing penchant for the muscle boys, while others prefer fabulous furballs – hell, gay guys really are spoilt for choice, right? 

Meet Eoin, a 38 year old IT consultant and part-time underwear model from Dublin. You may have, er, come across him on the ‘Gram barely wearing anything but a smile. He’s the kind of  chap who most of us would file under ‘The Insanely Handsome Man Mountain’ category. He ticks every box!  Manly muscles? Check! A coating of fur? Check? Rugged handsome face? Check, check, bloody check!  

It will come as no surprise, of course, to learn that Eoin’s lack of clothing, dashing good looks and rippling physique has gone down a storm with thirsty instafans, attracting over 70, 000 followers, who apparently can’t get enough of eyeing up his enviable physique. And who can blame them! 

Here, the naughty naturist opens up about his troubled coming out experience and how he went from geeky bookworm to eyeboggling instahunk!

So Eoin, were you one of those guys who knew from the outset you liked the fellas?

Not not really. I was a teenager when I started to suspect that I had no interest in girls,  although I would not admit it to myself for a very long while.

How come? 

I so desperately wanted not to be gay. You see, I was brought up to be upbringing was very Catholic and I was very religious myself so I just couldn’t bring myself to accept being gay. Like most Irish families, I have a lot of siblings and come from a family that takes it’s Catholicism very seriously.

Obviously you’re out now… when did you tell those around you?

The first person I told I was a really good friend at work. I was 26 by this stage and this is when I first started doing stuff with guys. They just smiled and said that’s great and that I shouldn’t be afraid to tell other people.

Good advice. Have you told any of your nearest and dearest?

I couldn’t tell my parents, so I have never told them that I am gay! Well, I was living hundreds of miles away in France before I first started experimenting with guys. I actually had this whole separate life in France where everyone knew I was gay and had no issue with it. I even had a relationship of four years while I was living there.

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Hiding out in the forest 🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌳🌳🌳🌳

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Wow! So does any of your family know?

I have a number of sisters. I started off by telling two of them, one was very supportive and the other one was very against it. In time other people in my family asked me about it, some of them are totally cool with it. My brothers are totally cool with it. A number of my sisters have been much more hostile to it and never want to speak about it. Of my eight sisters three would never want to talk to me about it and five are ok with it.

Jeepers! That’s crazy! What were you like as a child –

In a word, I was ‘DIFFERENT’! I was shy and quiet in a family of load mouth extroverts. I had no interest in football or boxing, which was awkward as my DAD had been a heavy weight boxer and wanted us to do boxing. I was more interested in gardening, although we had no garden just a paved yard, so I used to do my Nan’s garden. I would spend all day in the garden digging and planting.

Awww, sweet!

I also had a very peculiar love of languages. I can speak French, Spanish, German, and Portuguese and this obsession began at age seven when we learned a few french words in schools.

Weird!

I said to myself I want to speak French fluently and one day I will live in France. I was a real bookworm and not popular at all in school.

Oh no! What waslife at school like? 

Well, I was bullied for being too different. If I am honest I made myself a target. It’s good to be an individual and I’d encourage it, but I think I brought a lot of unnecessary suffering on myself looking back.

How did you deal with it?

I kind of withdrew, I prayed a lot, became a martyr with a victim complex a mile long. I didnt want t speak about it so I never told anyone about what I was going through. It was only when I went to Ireland that things changed. My mind was all over the place and only now looking back do I think I may have had bipolar depression.

So how did things change?

Well, I was 20 and started hanging out with a friend from childhood and ended up partying a lot. The first drug I tried was skunk. I got horribly stoned and paranoid. I didn’t really enjoy the sensation at all. Later I started going clubbing and illegal raves in warehouse where I’d be taking E like everyone else. But I had a wake up call when one of my friends too way too much E and fell in the canal! I had to jump in and save him but he nearly drowned me. I then had to carry him home on my back because he couldn’t walk.

Wow! You’re a hero! When you were properly out did you throw yourself into the scene. Was it as you expected?

I wasn’t at all what I expected. I found it very difficult in the first few years. The rules of engagement are very different to those in the straight world. I fell in love with the first guy I slept with and he was young and immature and was too flirtatious with other guys and he left me on my own for hours on end in the gay night club whenever we would go out. One night I caught him kissing another guy. He didn’t see me but I was so angry so I downloaded Grindr and slept with the first guy who messaged me and I broke up with him the next day.

Wow! That’s a way of getting back!

Then I felt terrible about it, I confessed to my now ex-boyfriend and I beat myself up over it for three months and couldn’t eat I was so depressed. I lost so much weight that I looked skeletal by the end of the summer.  That was when I met an older guy, 16 years my senior and pretty much got into a relationship with him that lasted four years.

Is the gay scene a world that you enjoy now ?  

I enjoy it sometimes – I’ve been a WE party ambassador for several years now – but I’m very wary of the gay world. Yes, it can be  a lot of fun, but it can also be a relentless machine that eats you up and spits you out

You cut a rather impressive shape these days, but were you always this buff?

For a long time I didn’t think I was muscular enough. I ‘d see other guys and wanted to be like them. It got me down for a long while.

Have gay guys judge you because of your body?

Sometimes gay guys can be the biggest assholes of any group of people. I think we can treat each other appallingly at the same time that we love to whine about homophobia. My body has always been an issue. But then I started to bulk up mainly because I was sick of guys looking right through me like I was not even there

Do you think gay men are obsessed with the body beautiful as some believe?

They are definitely obsessed with the body beautiful – there is no doubt about it.

A lot of gay men use Instagram as a means to boost there self esteem – are you one of them? 

Well I’d be lying if I said that all the compliments I receive everyday have not boosted my self esteem but I have a healthy relationship with social media. I live or die by it.

These days you seem very body confident – you are always showing it off. And yo;ev also recently started an Only Fans page.

The photos I share are artistic nudes. I am not performing explicit acts in my photos or making sexual gestures.

What reactions do you get?

If I’m honest, I receive endless adulation!

Are you put off by guys’ sauce reactions to you?

No, I like it. Ha!

What do you like about your body?   

My back and my butt! I hate my crocked teeth

Have you got a fella?

Yes, I met him on Grindr, believe it or not. I like being in a. relationship. It’s not easy, but none are. One day I would like to get married. We get on so well, we are just so relaxed around one another. I think he’s more direct than me and I’m more easy going.

What would you say to your 12 year old self about the future?

Just be yourself and stop worrying about absolutely everything.

How has this Covid-19 situation changed things or impacted on work? 

I can work from home, but I hate it, I miss the human contact in the office. During lockdown I was starting to lose my mind as I hadn’t seen my boyfriend since the 12th March. But all is good now. What I have learnt about myself during this time is that I really need human contact

The post ‘I went from a bullied closeted bookworm to posing in underwear online!‘ appeared first on Guys Like U.

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Meet the sexy boys looking for love in LGBTQ+ dating show LoveDown

June 20, 2020, 2:57 am
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Hands up if living in lockdown has played havoc with your dating life? Are you ready to blow after almost four months of being cooped up at home with just five dandy digits to keep you happy?

If so, then you need to check out The Lockdown Dating Show on YouTube to remind yourself what it’s like to be flirty, dirty and frisky.

Some of you may have already caught the first series online in which boys and girls met online and tried to woo each other. But this this second season, which kicks off on June 25, is much more up ur back alley as this time round it is packed with fantabulous LGBTQ+ folk all trying their, er, hardest, to find love during lockdown.

Among the love lorn hopefuls appearing on the show is ‘Mr Gay England 2020’ finalist and ‘Bionic Hairdresser’ Kyle Elson. The handsome fella was born with a deformed hand and featured in BBC show Inventing the Impossible: The Big Life Fix. In the show, inventor Jude Pullen designed a device to allow Kyle to progress as a hairdresser.

Kyle will be also be joined by sexy northerner Brad Thorpe, who you may recognise from MTV’s Love Squad or BBc3’s recent House Share.

This outrageous new show is hosted by Kelsey-Beth, who played Scarlett Nicholls in Emmerdale and also tried her luck on The Voice UK. “Being single isn’t so bad when you have hobbies/ a career/ friends but one day when that’s all stripped from you and all you’re allowed to do is DIY, bake and exercise, it’s nice to have a partner to share the highs and lows with,” Kelsey-Beth says. “I have enjoyed this experience so much, the love birds are such warm, lovely people with big personalities and hopefully we can play a tiny part in helping them find love or even just giving them and our viewers a few laughs in a hard time. Watching the footage and meeting everyone virtually has brought such light to the long days and we are all having a blast!”

The show’s producer, West End star Ashley Luke Lloyd, says he came up with when the UK went into lockdown back in March and saw the challenges facing those were single and gagging during lockdown.“We’re all in this crazy and confusing time together,” he says “We wanted to have some fun, bring some joy to everyone’s four walls and connect people together – and who knows, maybe some of our love birds will fall in love!”

Find out for yourself if Kyle or any of the other love-hungry hopefuls find love when Lovedown Season Two ‘Pride Season’ kicks off on its  YouTube channel on Thursday 25th June.

For more information about Lovedown,  follow the Lovedown instagram page  and the Lovedown Facebook page. 

The post Meet the sexy boys looking for love in LGBTQ+ dating show LoveDown appeared first on Guys Like U.

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Harry Needs: “I questioned my sexuality a lot, but I’ve always known that I was neither gay nor straight.”

June 26, 2020, 3:08 am
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Former competitive swimmer Harry Needs opens up about living life as a bisexual man.

Living in lockdown has been a pretty tough time for many of us. Unable to meet up with friends and family or even venture too far from home, a lot of guys and girls have found it something of a challenge to live in strict confinement or deal with the feelings of emptiness and loneliness. However, for others, this very strange time of forced incarceration has proved to be a welcome time of reflection and self-discovery.
 
Take gorgeous Harry Needs, for example. The dashing former competitive swimmer told his thousands of Instagram followers on Father’s Day that he is and always has been bisexual, admitting: “I’m only sharing this side of myself to everyone now in hope that I can help others. I hope my journey can inspire many others to be true to themselves.
 
A day later, his ex-wife, Olympic swimmer Rebecca Adlington, posted a message of support, writing: ‘So proud of Harry for opening up yesterday. It was really brave and very honest. He opened up to me last year and I’m so glad he felt comfortable and confident enough now to share it. His sexuality doesn’t affect or change his ability to parent Summer. He’s a fantastic dad and our priority is always going to be Summer. We’ll always have each other’s back.”
 
How sweet, right? Just goes to prove that some relationships can be remain strong after separation. In fact, the former lovebirds are such good pals that Harry and Rebecca have happily conquered the self-isolating challenges in their successful modern family co-parenting methods.

Here, in an exclusive interview with GuysLikeU, Harry opens up about the confusion he endured during his teens as he came to terms with his sexuality, what he is looking for in Mr or Mrs Right and how he hopes his story can help young guys and girls work out who they really are sooner rather than later. 

Harry, tell us about growing up.
I’m proud of my beginnings, and the council estate I grew up on in Islington, London will always be home. I moved to Nottingham when I was 17 to progress my career as an international swimmer for team GBR. I’m an only child, so my immediate family circle was small, tightknit, and super supportive around of my goals. That hasn’t changed to this day and it’s something I have passed down to my own daughter, she’s so loved.

You say you realised that you liked boys and girls when you were 13…  Did this cause you a lot of confusion at the time? 
All through adolescence and puberty, you’re on this remarkable maturing journey; which starts to allow you to discover your true attraction to people. Living in a society dominated by one heterosexual binary it can be incredibly confusing if you feel an attraction to both sexes. I think we’re all taught that if you’re not ‘straight’ you’re ‘gay’ and there are no other identities. As a bisexual you sometimes feel like you don’t have a place. Despite the fact that awareness and understanding of this is changing for the better, everyone should be accommodated in society; equally and comfortably and happily. We’re all on a spectrum after all.

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1 Walk 🤙🏽

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Was bisexuality something you were aware about growing up?
My bisexuality was more of feeling when I was younger. I really didn’t know there was a specific label for my authentic self until much later in my teens.

So did you consider yourself gay at any point? 
The popular belief that there are just gay people and straight people in the world is what makes being bisexual so confusing. I have to admit I’ve questioned my sexuality a lot over the years, but I’ve always known that I was neither gay nor straight.

Did hiding away make you feel lead to you feeling depressed?
Regardless of how I identify, I have suffered  with both depression and anxiety from as early as I can remember. I still do. Generally, I’ve always felt comfortable and confident in my own skin, but looking back, I don’t think the confusion I’ve experienced with my sexuality helped my mental health.

What do you mean?
I have always been in cis, heterosexual relationships, all the way through to when I got married. Although I knew deep down my sexuality was more fluid than I had ever expressed, I have never felt oppressed or trapped in any way. For me, it’s always been about being attracted to a person and who they are; my wedding day is still the happiest day of my life.

What was life at school like – did the other pupils notice anything different about you? 

I went to London Nautical School for boys. It’s a prestigious feeder school to the Royal Navy. I have to admit, my school experience was spectacular. The school had its own sports college. I was a swimmer at the time so I was always one of the sporty kids. I was also the hard-working kind; I won various awards and accolades and even went on to become school captain in year 12. The only thing noticeably different about me at school was the constant scent of chlorinated pool water.

Was swimming a sport that other boys at your school poked fun at?
Most of my friends at school played football, some going on to break out onto an international and professional stage, but there was always a mutual respect for me as a sportsman. Swimming is a very equal sport when it comes to mainstream binary gender identities, but I’d still like to see boundaries pushed further.

Did you ever have experiences with boys and girls during this period? 
Although I identify as bisexual now, it’s been difficult to be open about it in the past because I was always in heterosexual relationships throughout my teens, right up until I married Rebecca. I would feel very hypocritical to open up publicly or speak out about being bisexual without actually having been in a same sex relationship… Which is why I am now able and comfortable to speak out about it now.

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Weekend is over face.

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Looking back, do you think stifling your true understanding of yourself affected your mental health?
On the surface, as a closeted bisexual, it’s easier to hide because you can just say you’re more into one sex over the other. But, of course, as I am bisexual my attractions are fluid. Even though after my divorce I came to terms with my authentic self, there have been difficult times on my journey because I didn’t feel confident enough to confide in anyone else about it, even though I have had many great friends along the way who were there for me. And yes, I do think that feeling isolated and hiding away may have had a negative impact on my mental health. But I was lucky to have had a huge outlet in my sport of swimming and these particularly unique friendships that I still have in my life today.

You got together with Rebecca at 17… Were you honest with her from the outset or did you keep your fluidity to yourself?
I didn’t say a thing. For me personally, my journey with Rebecca was a destination to love. I think as an unconfident bisexual man it was extremely difficult back then to admit it even to myself, especially considering I had zero experience with the same sex. Once I knew I loved Rebecca, I was committed to that relationship and its journey for the rest of my life.

That’s lovely. Was there a point in your relationship when you finally did come clean? Did you ever feel guilt, like you had deceived her?  
I only talked to Rebecca about my sexuality as a friend after we had amicably separated. I never felt I deceived her, because I loved her and like I already said, I never had the time to discover my full sexuality. Becky and I are extremely supportive of each other and our lives now revolve around our daughter Summer, who is our main priority.

How did the rest of your family react to your bisexuality?
They have all been extremely supportive. We all share the same the opinion that sexual preference doesn’t define a person so it wasn’t a big deal. They all share the same openminded maturity and accept me for the person I am. I love them for that!

You’ve said you don’t like labels….  In an ideal world how would you like to be viewed – Harry the dad, the nice guy who has girlfriends and boyfriends? 
I feel like more people are now getting more educated on the individual preference to the way they like to label themselves. However, it doesn’t sit well with me as an individual. I don’t like confining people to a historical identity space. We’re all human and we all share this world together. If I have to be honest, I’m extremely new to the LGBTQ+ community and I have a lot of learning to do myself. I actually feel like I’ve been quite ignorant in my life to date, so although I’m contradictorily referring to myself as bisexual in this interview, I suspect that will change. Having said that, Harry the dad, the nice guy who has girlfriends and boyfriends has a great ring to it for now.

In recent years, there are so many different sexual identifications – do you think this is a good idea or do think by doing so we are segregating ourselves even more??? 
Contextually, it’s more difficult to communicate a message without labelling, but not impossible. As graphic designer  and communicating in the digital world, I use semiotics and communication theory daily through the abstraction of art, with that said, I do feel a more pragmatic approach socially could be a good idea to help avoid further segregation. What I don’t want to see is hegemonic society where some people feel unworthy or discriminated against.

Do you think bisexual men and women are still viewed in a certain way by the general public? 
I guess a common misconception is that bisexuals are greedy or indecisive; which is completely false. I can’t speak for everyone when I say this, but the hardest bisexual stereotype I’ve personally had to endure is that I’m using bisexuality as a ‘gateway’ or a step to becoming gay. I’m sure there are people out there who identify as gay after a bit of sexually experimentation, but for me personally I believe we’re all on a spectrum and I shouldn’t have to defend my interest in both men and women.

Why do you think LGBT people find it so hard to be open their true selves even in this day and age?
Everyone of us should be accepted in society: equally and comfortably and happily. This, sadly, isn’t the case yet and therefore should to be consistently challenged. Education in particular will defeat assumptions and ignorance and is critical to encouraging people to be their authentic selves without having to justify themselves. I dislike the term ‘coming out’, like coming out is a thing, it shouldn’t even exist; or it should be called the ‘freedom of my suffering, fears and confusion, to which I yet still don’t feel adequate and equally treated in society’.

GuysLikeU is a big advocate for schools teaching LGBT history and issues – do you think schools should include subjects like this on the curriculum? 
I appreciate that the education curriculum is already jammed packed, but I don’t see how I can say education is the key without saying yes to this question. I obviously have a biased opinion on this but after the conversations I have had with many people since sharing my story, it has really opened my eyes to how many kids struggle with their identity at school and how beneficial it would be for a culture change toward acceptance. Additionally, I’d love nothing more than to see kids study subjects like ethnicity and black history and focusing more on many other widely spread and commonly problematic social issues.

How would being taught about the LGBT+ community  have helped you when you were 13? 
I think I would have had more confidence in my teenage years to be my authentic self. I also would be in position where I’m not learning about a ‘new’ subject in my late 20s. I would have had the opportunity to help others sooner and treat people with the respect everyone deserves.

What made you ‘come out’ this week?  
In lockdown due to catastrophic and woeful disruption of Covid-19 I’ve been thinking a lot about what side of history I want to be on and how do I want to look back in my late life remembering this time. With opportunities like my first pride taken away, and with the inspiring movement of Black Lives Matter, the stars aligned for me. It was Father’s Day and it was pride month, and it was the last day of National Men’s Mental Health Awareness Week. As I said before, I’ve suffered with mental health issues for many years and this is an area I’m also passionate about helping others in. I collaborated with the Mind Charity last year organising and taking part in a successful world record breaking relay swim to raise money for mental health awareness. I’m looking forward to doing more projects like this that get us talking about taboo topics and help each other more.

It’s great you have a good relationship with your ex-wife – that must be something you are happy about? 
I’m so lucky. And I’m so grateful, Rebecca is a fantastic mum and I go as far as saying she’s a better mum than she was swimmer.

Unbelievably, you’re single. What do you look for in the perfect partner?

I look for values of positivity, loyalty, honesty, ambition, banter and kindness. I’m also dog-father to two gorgeous pups, so if you can handle two dogs and a sassy five year-old, I’m all yours.

Good to know! Do you think boys and girls offer different types of relationships? Are the dynamics different? 
In my experience no, love is love. Being in love is very important to me. Being vulnerable in love is equally as important to me. I hope that one day I get to share that opportunity again.

Do you think we can embrace relationships if we haven’t embraced ourselves? 
I think you can. I’ve never not been happy in any of my relationships where love is involved. I like to think that we’re on our own individual and personal journeys and sometimes simultaneously were on relationship or companionship journeys as well. Life has this beautiful way of interlinking, unfolding and working out – if you allow it to that is.

Do you think we search people out who we think will make us better people? 
I think naturally we are drawn to people who share the same morals and values as us. It would be shallow to just use somebody to get some sort of personal gain, but I think no matter what relationship or friendship develops we are always granted the opportunity to learn and grow.

What would you say to your 12 year old self about the future.
Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable and transparent. Be strong and attentive. Be brave and bold, and never ever give up.

If you identify with Harry’s story or have a story of your own you’d like to share drop us a line on our FACEBOOK page or on TWITTER.

The post Harry Needs: “I questioned my sexuality a lot, but I’ve always known that I was neither gay nor straight.” appeared first on Guys Like U.

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Shipwrecked star Kush: “One night this guy kissed me and suddenly everything made sense!”

June 9, 2020, 11:42 pm
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Shipwrecked star Kush opens up about coming out, first kisses and body image.

Anyone who watched the recent series of Shipwrecked will no doubt still be thinking about the parade of  impossibly beautiful young things who drifted onto our screens. There was insanely handsome Tom Wooton, who dazzled us with his Harry Judd-alike face, building skills and lack of interest of all forms of confrontation and gossip.  Sean Lineker, whose stunning eyes captivated not just viewers but the show’s 6ft8 beefcake Chris and a whole load more. But if pressed, we’d say have to say that our favourite  was the dashingly handsome Kush Khanna, a London based singer who was not just pleasing on the eye, but became the heart of the show and bonded everyone during their spell in paradise. We hooked up with the 27-year old fella to chat about island politics, coming out to his parents and why his dreams of pop superstardom were thwarted by an X Factor hunk! 

Kush, we loved you on the show, you were most definitely our king of Shipwrecked. You seemed to be the glue that held everything together…

Because I am gay, I get on with girls and guys and am really sociable. I love getting to know people. And because of that I became the one that everyone would talk to. I’d do the cooking and cleaning too, so was very involved with everyone’s lives. I was a bit of a floater, and would chat with everyone and so when I went to the other island for example, people would notice when I wasn’t there and they’d be forced to talk to each other.

You and Tom got on like a house on fire. Gosh he was so hot.

Tom was like my little brother. He was a lovely guy but I don’t think he was onscreen as much as some because I think there were people with bigger stories. He hated gossiping but when you’re on an island with nothing much to do, that’s what you end up doing.

There were a lot of alpha men on the island – how did you cope with them?

I found it quite easy to get on with everyone if I’m honest, but there was a moment that was not on camera when I did feel a little bit insecure. There was this one guy whose name I’d rather not mention, who made a comment that really upset me. He said to Tom, “you need more guys on this island to help around” and I was standing there just thinking “hang on, I do a lot of building too”. So I piped up and said, “but I’m here” and he replied “I meant a real man”.  I was so upset and angry that I ran off  to the showers and broke down in tears. One of our execs, who was gay, came and asked why I was quiet and I said to him “get him off the island – he’s a fucking prick.” The producer was so good about the situation and went and tore a strip off him. But then this guy said, “I have lots of gay friends – I didn’t mean it like that!” But I was like, “Yeah, but your ignorance is all I need to know and this is what you clearly think about me.”

Was living with buff alpha guys easy?

I am this skinny goofy guy and that there are guys out there who are kinda ugly but have all these muscles and everyone is all over them saying ‘oh my god they are so gorgeous’, which is hard to deal with sometimes. Being Asian too has always made me feel like I was on the back foot. I know that sounds ridiculous, but it’s my experience. All the guys I have dated have said, ‘you’re the first asian guy I’ve ever fancied,” which is a complement in a way but at the same time, what does that mean?

From the look of it, you never seemed like you let insecurities bother you on the island.

Maintaining this positive energy was hard. When I was having a quiet day, people would notice and keep asking if I was okay. When Sean arrived on the island and hit it off with Chris, that really knocked me because there were three gay guys on the island and I felt like the ugly one. Even though a lot of people were showing me love, I couldn’t help but feel that I didn’t fancy anyone and no one fancied me.

That sounds sad…

Don’t get me wrong, Sean and Chris were so lovely and so giving to me, so my insecurities  were created by me. I would say to them “I am insecure but it’s nothing to do with you”. The funny thing is normally I am very confident. I can walk into a club and feel like I’m the sexiest one there. But then there are other times when I don’t feel like that. When I’d gone on the island I had been kind of messaging someone so when I was feeling confident, I reminded myself that I had a guy back home. But that confidence got shattered when nobody on the island fancied me.

Back in the real world, when did you suspect you were gay?

It was actually a really stressful time for me and this is why I think sex education at schools is so important. I was around 18 and I was madly in love with this girl. I remember I’d be grinding up against this girl but I couldn’t get hard. I was so worried, I started googling erectile dysfunction and even the porn I watched didn’t help. I never spoke to my family about it because they are very conservative. You wouldn’t even say the word boob! Sex was a mystery to me, I didn’t even know how to masturbate if I’m entirely honest. I didn’t know anything. I didn’t even speak to my mates about it. I was a bit like the lead character in Sex Education.

So when was your first experience with a guy?

I was out in Exeter one night and this guy said to me “what’s your situation” and asked if me if I was bisexual. I said I think I  might be gay but that I wasn’t sure. He asked me to come outside to talk about it and when I did he tried to kiss me but I pulled away. He said to me, “you’re clearly not gay if you won’t let me kiss you”, but I was nervous, I had only ever kissed one girl before. I was pretty much asexual, if I am honest. Yes, I fancied gals, or so I thought, but couldn’t be hard with them and I didn’t realise then that I was actually fancied boys.

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Bright eyed and bushy tailed

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Had you had feelings for boys by this stage?

Not exactly. I had been obsessed with guys who were my mates. I was surrounded by beautiful straight white friends and I really enjoyed their company but I think there was more to it. Then when I was about 21, I  got signed up by a band and then all thoughts of being gay were thrown out of the window because I thought girls can’t fancy a gay guy in a band. Then my friend Matt Lever came out as a gay at his boys school – I then realised I might be gay.

Did that make it easier for you to open up to people? 

So one new year, I told Matt that I thought I was gay and he said “about time” and we agreed that every Wednesday I would come up from Aylesbury to London and he would take me out. We used to go to GAY Late bar every week and one week I met a really beautiful boy who came up to me and said “I find you really attractive”. I was so scared as it was so new to me, but then he grabbed me, kissed me and for the first  time everything made sense for me. It sounds like a funny cute story but it’s quite mentally disturbing for a guy at 21 to finally realise that boys turned me on. That’s pretty late in the game. But I was like, “Oh my God, this is amazing”. I felt sexy for the first time.

So how did you tell your parents?

My mum had previously asked me if was gay and I had said, ‘No, no, no.’ Then, when I was around 23 and I had a secret boyfriend who was a banker, she asked me again. At this point, I was happy with this guy and he had a good job and we were pretty serious, so this time I told her I was gay and that I was in a relationship. She took a moment and went, “Okay! Good, you’ve told me now. You don’t need to worry. Just focus on you and be the best you can. Don’t worry about me.”

Aww, that’s nice.

Then she called me the next day and she said “Kush, I have been googling gay and there’s lots of stuff about sex parties – please say you’re not doing that are you?’ And I told her “no, of course not.”

How was your dad?

Well, I have never actually spoken to my dad about being gay, but I think he’s okay about it. We were up one night chatting to a cousin about her plans to go to uni and my dad said, “it’s irrelevant what the outer family think of you, just do what makes you happy because that is what is most important. Your family will always have your back.”. And I thought to myself, is this his subtle way of him telling me that he’s okay with me being gay? I still haven’t spoken to him about it properly, but when I did promo for the show I was really open about being gay.

Has there been a good reaction about your appearance on the show?

I have had some gorgeous messages from gay Asians, saying thank you for showing us in a good light. That means the world to me because people in the Asian world rarely talk about being gay.

Is that because of religious beliefs or something else?

My family are Hindu, but I’m not religious. However, Hinduism is quite an open religion. People just need education about being LGBT issues. There’s just been a documentary aired in India about a gay guy which my mum has watched and she said that it helped her understand more about what I was going through. There’s also an LGBT movie that’s opened over there which is about a lesbian couple. Things are getting better now and that makes me happy.

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Being nonchalant / extra

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Well, you seem very open and confident about being gay. 

What really helped me come out was that I was earning money and felt self sufficient. I told myself at the time, that if my family wanted to disown because of my sexuality, they could do so and I would still survive. Luckily they didn’t, but I felt that if something went wrong, I could still live my life independently and with no fear.

Do you find gay life easy?

Not really… I feel we have to adapt to the world around us. I did an acting piece recently with a bunch of gay guys of all colours and backgrounds. We all talked about our experiences and realised that every day we censor ourselves. I mean, there are some streets I might have to act a little more masculine on and act a bit differently. I don’t know why we have to adapt, but we feel that we do.

Do you ever feel left out of the gay community?

I don’t think I feel I’m part of a scene. I work at Barry’s Boot Camp and everyone who walks in looks like a chiselled god. There is one guy who goes there who I would say has an average face but an amazing body and every gay guy is all over him, while I’m just standing there showing off aspects of myself that might be attractive to some, but to avail.

Have you ever considered competing with the beefcakes and building up your body?

I had abs for the first few days of me being on the island. I had worked out at Barrys for the weeks before I flew out. Then when the show started we got so much hate about us all having amazing bodies but all I could think about was that I had never been described as having an amazing body before.

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Will you be my american boy? 🇺🇸🇺🇸

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Do you think Instagram is a damaging environment for guys?

Instagram is depressing. When I spoke to the so-called ‘perfect’ boys on the island I could tell they were so insecure and it was so sad for me to see. Some of the boys would put a T-shirt on to do their interviews because they didn’t like the way they looked. They’d say stuff like,  “I’ve lost so much weight”, “I’m too skinny”, or “I’ve lost my muscle” and I was like, have you not looked at yourself in the mirror – you look phenomenal!

Do you think they’re masking  something?

Most definitely. But I think if they spoke more about their feelings on Instagram they’d go a long way. It’s so sad. The boys would say to me, “I have my body and nothing else!” But everyone has more to themselves than that!

You’re a singer and you’ve just released a gorgeous video for a track called Beautiful…

I had so much fun making the video. It was shot on Oxford Street in it I am handing out notes to passersby telling them how beautiful they are. Their reactions are priceless. Everyone I know has shared it – it had 4k viewers in its first day. I wrote the track for Pride last year with the message #teachtheworldtosayIloveyou. I’ve had a really lovely response. I wanted to do a song that wasn’t about pimps or hoes.

Is it easy to break into music? 

Well, music is the thing I’m most comfortable doing and I don’t think there’s anyone else doing what I do, which makes it harder for me to break into because people will say “You’re Asian, do you do Indian music?” and I’ll say “No, I’m someone who does pop music who just happens to be brown”. I want to do a world tour, I have my outfits already planned. I would like to have an Olly from Years and Years kind of vibe.

You said you are in a band before.

Yes, I was and it was a brilliant but bittersweet experience as I had a tough time during it. Geri Halliwell and Simon Fuller had signed me up to be part of their supergroup along with a girl called Gemma and Sam Callahan, who went on to appear on The X Factor. It was great to start with. Geri was always so supportive and she would say that I had the most distinctive voice. We’d go around to Geri’s house every day and we even flew out to see Simon Fuller in LA. Me and Gemma were getting all the leads because Geri and Simon thought we had the most distinctive voices. But then I’d end up feeling insecure because they’d say “Gemma you’re the beautiful one” and ‘Sam, you’re the muscle guy that all the girls will fancy”  even though he couldn’t really sing. And then they’d say to me, “Kush, you’re the global one!” So I felt like I was the ugly good singer. But don’t get me wrong, Geri was so good to me.

How come we never heard about the band?

The band didn’t work out is because Sam quit the band because he wasn’t getting any vocals and then Simon decided to drop us.

Oh. So what’s next?

Well I’d like to try do in some presenting and i want to keep pursuing music. The future is looking good.

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“My muslim family was never ashamed that I was gay!”

June 26, 2020, 12:04 pm
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Meet Ali Mushtaq… By day he is a dashingly handsome professor who teaches about inequality, health and racism at a liberal arts college in Southern California. However, when he’s not opening students’ minds with his wise words, he can be found whipping off his clothes and enjoying a wild time on the leather scene.

In fact, the furry hunk enjoys the BDSM world so much, he even competed as Mr Long Beach at the International Mr Leather competition in Chicago in 2016.

What makes him even more extraordinary is that Ali is a young Muslim man who is out and proud and embracing his sexuality. And while he was not the first Muslim contestant to compete in that fiercely-fought annual contest, he was the first Pakistani-American contestant to take part, which makes him not only a great role model for gay men in general, but also for men of colour and indeed other Muslim gay men.

With profiles having already appeared in well-respected titles such as the The Los Angeles Times and The New York Times, Ali has been pleased to see his media profile rise and says he is keen to use his platform to combat social inequality and admits that his main goal is to “help people empower themselves, find their voice, and create a better tomorrow”.

What a guy, eh?

Keen to know more about what makes this big-hearted fella tick, we caught up with the captivating Ali, 30, to chat about what it was like for him grow up Muslim and gay, how he feels about the continuing racism within the LGBT community and the leather world and explains why monogamy is just not for him.

So Ali, tell us about the kind of family life you grew up in?

I grew up in Orange County, a conservative part of California. It was a relatively suburban area, and it didn’t really expose me to different kinds of people. I grew up Muslim so I took Quran and Arabic lessons from my grandfather’s sister, went to a mosque, but our family wasn’t very religious, so it wasn’t a very strict environment.

When did you start to realise you were gay?

I think at about age 12 or 13 I started to slowly realise I was attracted to other men. At the first it was somewhat difficult to accept being gay, but it was something that I ended up accepting early on because I didn’t want to live a life where I was dealing with anxiety for who I am even if it meant being ostracized (which indeed for a bit as soon as I came out).

Who was the person you were most worried to open up to?

It was really strange because my grandfather had clients who were gay, but I felt like he was very judgmental of gay marriage at the time.  Then over time,  he grew to deal with the idea that I was gay and evolved from that.

Who was the first person you told?

I think I told my grandmother. At first she wasn’t comfortable with the idea that I was gay, but then after a month, she and other family members came around. They never told me to hide my sexual orientation or to be ashamed, and very much supported me as I built a platform to address being gay, Muslim, and into BDSM.

What was life at school like – did your sexuality become the bane of your life?

I think in general I always existed on the fringes of whatever community I happened to land in. So apart from being the ‘weird kid who liked Anime’, coming out during my junior year in high school was difficult. Yes I was teased because of my sexual orientation, but I think it made me want to challenge power and authority even more.

Bravo sir! Was the gay scene as you expected it to be?

I didn’t get a chance to meet other queer people until I started my undergrad years. It was interesting because I got exposed to queer women and trans communities in our student organisation. So here, I made friends that would be life-long friend. But then I started to feel out of place because I wanted a community that was more sexual and to help me be more empowered with my sexuality. That would come later when I went to San Francisco for grad school.

Ah! And when you got there was it just sex you were looking for?

I think for a while I wanted to find a boyfriend, but I started to shift that focus when I started placing a premium on developing my sexuality.

Were you always aware of practising safe sex?

When safe sex meant using condoms, yes. But given that our definition has shifted to being on PrEP to prevent HIV, knowing that HIV undetectable means untransmittable, and that I go in for quarterly STI check-ups for any bacterial STI, then yes, I still continue to practice safe-sex.

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#selfie #friday #bed #nap #newfriend

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Monogamy is something that is debated about so much among gay men. Are you a one-on-one kind of guy?

I unequivocally do not believe in monogamy. I think for me, I’m at a point where I can differentiate love and sex, where I can have a partner, have multiple sex partners, as well as having men with whom I’m intimately close with, but not necessarily have them as partners. So I’m very sexually open and I expect a potential partner to be the same. I think I’m also, to some extent, polyamorous.

So looking for love is definitely not a priority? 

Being in the leather world has taught me there are multiple kinds of love, and that you don’t necessarily to have be in a committed relationship with one person in order to be happy. I learned how to create close relationships with other men, with at times, a sexual component. I’m really also not a fan of serial monogamy (one guy to the next) because I think all of relationships with men are valuable and can have some kind of intimacy.

What kind of boyfriend are you?

I’d like to think I’m not the kind of boyfriend you would find in a Taylor Swift song.

And what do you look for in a guy – is it all about aesthetics or do you look past that and dig deeper?

I think if I were to settle down with someone, he’d have to be mentally and emotionally evolved, intelligent, and he’d also accept how I view sexuality. I think also he’d also have to empathy for people who are marginalized. Those qualities are very important to me.

Is being with someone just about sex, or is about commitment and companionship?

I think different people have different things to offer may it be sex, commitment, intimacy, and companionship. So I don’t feel like I should have find all of that in one person.

Have you had many meaningful relationships?

I think all of my relationships have been meaningful because they taught me something about myself in the process even if it meant that I had to leave them.

What about destructive relationships?

I think if any relationship that was disruptive in any way, it would be the one that I had with the leather/BDSM world as opposed to with particular people.  There were individual people that were amazing in the community, but I think at times, I’ve had a very co-dependent relationship with the community because the community embraces people that generally do not make waves, challenge authority, and overall, conform to a very narrow ideal of what it means to be a leather person.  I think the fact that I tried to volunteer as much as I did and sought approval from people that would never give it me was indeed destructive.

Oh really. Do you think we can fully embrace relationships if we haven’t then time to embrace ourselves?

Yes, on that note, I think many marginalized people go to various communities seeking approval and people that we think will make us better. I think we do that because we’ve been turned away from our families, communities, and we get ourselves in toxic relationships because we desperately want to fit in and find homes. But until we recognise our inherent value, embrace who we are, and make choices that are self-validating, we will continue to find ourselves in situations that are abusive and destructive.

A lot of guys try to find their ‘tribe’ – have you ever felt the pressure to fit into one?

It’s interesting that you ask this because there’s an emphasis in the leather world about finding one’s tribe, and that while I have felt pressure to conform to these ideals, I never truly have been able to conform completely. And it’s interesting, because I don’t think I ever found the tribe where I could call home. Instead, I’ve managed to exist in multiple communities. So in a sense I feel like everywhere and nowhere is my tribe, and that I’m a constant nomad spreading my message in hopes others might find it helpful.

Interesting. You’re a handsome guy, but have you ever felt like you have been treated like soem kind of a sex object and not seen for the man you are?

I appreciate that. I think as a man of colour, I feel like I’m judged in the leather world more on what I look like versus what I say or what I can contribute. I think that’s true to some degree for a lot of us in the gay community. But I also know racial discrimination exists in the bear world too, so either way, it’s hard to exist in the community regardless of my body type because of my skin colour.

You’ve written about racism on the leather scene… explain what you’ve experienced.

There were various micro-aggressions, namely being confused with another South Asian person (who looks nothing like me), being held to higher standards than my white counterparts (in terms of what I had to do to gain access and have a voice in the community), having my suggestions downplayed because of what was seen as being very “political,” even though they were valid concerns around race and representation in the community (especially within title holder circles), and many other examples. In the leather world, the idea of “race play” is hotly contested, where some eroticise the notion of treating black sexual partners as slaves (as per slavery) in an erotic context, and indeed, that been an example of how racism works. As a South Asian who has played with white, British men, the dynamic has had certain colonialist baggage that I personally had to navigate.

Wow. Not a lot of people would know that goes on. Do you find there is a lot of racism in the LGBT community as a whole?

Yes I do. I think in the beginning when I was first going to gay bars, it was hard to see non-white people (let alone other South Asians) on stage as performers, especially as gogo dancers, at non-ethnic nights. So that, coupled with knowing how people explicitly discriminated against other people on Grindr, especially before their campaign, “Kindr,” it was difficult.  And now, my current work, as someone that’s represented the community focuses both on bringing these issues to light, as well as providing remedies for these problems.

Have you always been happy about the way you look?

I’m content about what I look like, but I think the pressure was more about how I saw my relationships with other people in the leather world where there was definitely a pressure to conform. Like I could physically embody what it meant to be a leather person but I could never really embody its values in terms of reinforcing hierarchies, being complicit in marginalizing others, and conforming to people’s attitude’s in the community. I think it was more of an existential pressure to fit in rather than a pressure to physically fit in.

Do  you think gay men are too obsessed with the body beautiful?

I think these conversations are really nuanced. I do understand some gay men are very sizist , engage in fat shaming, but some also value heavier men (especially within bear communities).  So I think these conversations need to go beyond simply talking about what gay men are obsessed about, as opposed to  being honest about underlying reasons why we have self-esteem problems, why we react negatively toward people, especially people that have marginalized because of their size, and how can we work toward being more inclusive in our bars, events, etc.

 

A lot of gay men use instagram as a means to boost their self esteem – do you have a healthy relationship with social media?

That’s very good question. I do know people that develop body dysmorphia issues and turn to steroids because it increases their “likes,” but for me, social media, and instagram is a place I go to stay connected with friends, and to reach people that I might have never talked to.  There are times where I have gone on breaks (because of heavy workloads or because I wanted to observe a period of respectful silence for a marginalized group.

What do you like most about your body?

I think my body hair. There have been people have rejected me in past when I was younger because of my body hair and I was told that I would look better if I had shaved it all off. After growing up, I found that it was something I could be comfortable with because becoming comfortable with “me.” I have my insecurities like anyone else, like for example, I never liked my nose. I think it’s one of those features when some say it makes me unique, but I never got comfortable with it.

 

You enjoy the leather world – what attracted to you to that and when?

Well, as a Mr. Long Beach 2016, it would be hard to say “no” [I joke]. I think I already was  going down a path of wanting to be edgier with my sexuality, so when I moved to San Francisco in 2012, it was an opportunity to fall into the leather community. So I took some time to explore my fetishes and the rest is history.

Did it take some getting used to – was it an easy community to become part of?

The actual practices of leather and BDSM was not so much an issue, but getting onto PrEP and having sex did indeed took some getting used to. I never had problems or reservations to try new sexual things, but having to undo years of internalized homophobia.

 

How have you coped during this strange Covid-19 time? 

It’s difficult. I didn’t realize how much of my life and well being depended on interacting with other people. So to cope, I’m playing games, like Animal Crossing for Switch, so that I can interact with people. I’ve been writing more, and thinking more about what I want out of life as well as how to help others.

How has this affected work for you? 

I primarily teach so the shift to teaching online was quite difficult. I don’t think online education is hard to pull off, but what was difficult is that the students I have dealt with anxiety on top of their classes and indeed, I saw students that had anxiety problems and had problems adjusting to the new the new format. However, now, I get to focus more on research and develop workshops that can help people with trauma, anxiety, marginalisation, as well as empower others to represent diversity and to solve social problems.

What could this mean to your business?

I think now, given that society is coming to the realisation that we have to have to rethinking a lot about we do things, especially as an American and in regards to our race relations, our healthcare system, and capitalism, I think that I am able to now develop workshops and other sorts of materials (books, newsletters, etc.) that meets the needs of the moment. For example, given the Black Lives Matter Movement, many journalists,  YouTube entrepreneurs, podcasters, marketing professionals, and others would find my workshops particularly instructive as the first workshop I’m producing will help them interview people to get diversity and to represent that as part of their work. I also am in the process of creating workshops to help people in dominant social groups to unlearn any racism or inequalities they might still harbor, as well as help marginalized people in order to cope with trauma and anxiety. You can stay updated with my latest work here by staying connected at www.gettingwolfie.com

Are you worried about the future?

I’m optimistic. I think now many people are realizing to value our connections with others and hopefully, if we are able to get through the pandemic together, we can hopefully continue to build a better world.

Are you thinking of ways of adapt to the situation?

Indeed I am. The workshops I will offer are not only digital, but I also can do them privately for companies or for other communities over Zoom. I also will begin to offer personalised coaching to help others not only capture diversity in their work, but also to help them be more inclusive on an interpersonal level.

Tell me more about these workshops and where can we hear more about them…

So with the interest in promoting diversity and hearing voices that are normally not heard,  I am able to draw on my professional expertise as a sociologist, researcher, and can develop a personalized curriculum to help our friends in the media and marketing to better represent marginalised voices. In the future, I will create workshops that address basic interviewing skills and developing keys to self-empowerment. You can sign up for newsletter here at www.gettingwolfie.com.

Finally, would you say to your 12 year old self about the future?

Whenever I answer this type of question, I tear up a little bit because I didn’t think at 12, I ever thought I would be able to shift how people thought or that I could make a difference. I never thought I could develop a platform to reach people around the world and help make things easier for the people that came after me. So I was tell myself “You’ll keep playing video games, but you’ll also be helping to make the world a better place.”

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Fleabag hunk Ben Aldridge: “I love the LGBTQ+ community and am incredibly proud and thankful to be a part of it.”

June 29, 2020, 12:01 am
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The Pennyworth star marks Pride plus reveals that he once became obsessed with becoming ‘Catman’ after watching Batman Returns!

Gorgeous actor Ben Aldridge has marked this year’s Pride month by taking to Instagram to explain that he is proud to be part of the LGBTQ+ community.

“The journey to pride was a long one for me,” the handsome star of Our Girl and Fleabag wrote. “I love the LGBTQ+ community and am incredibly proud and thankful to be a part of it. So much won. So much more to fight for. #Pride.”

In his touching post, he included vintage images of Gay Liberation protests in London and Martha P Johnson, the trans woman who was part of the Stonewall riots. In a third incredibly cute video clip, we see Ben give a handsome chap a peck on the cheek before smiling broadly at the camera.

We first fell in love with Exeter born Ben when we saw him appear as Captain Charles James in Our Girl and getting jiggy with Phoebe Waller-Bridge in Fleabag as the ‘Arsehole Guy’, as well as enchanting us with roles in Reign, Lark Rise to Candleford and Pennyworth.

But one role he hasn’t yet played is Catman! Eh? Well, you see for years the star of Pennyworth has dreamed of playing a superhero. Speaking in a new interview with BBC Radio Cornwall, the star of Pennyworth says that after watching the mighty Batman Returns, he became obsessed with becoming  Catman! “I’ve always longed for super powers. I was weirdly obsessed with Catwoman, in that I thought that there should be a Catman,” he reveals. “I thought she had a cool transformation. She was like a gymnast, she had claws and she made her own costume. And was like I want to be Catman one day. And I did fantasise about playing that when I was younger. But that hasn’t happened.” Yet! Thoughts, Tim Burton?

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Clutch your wrist, wear a sash.

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Ben grew up in Devon and was raised in the born again Christian church. However, he has admitted that these days religion doesn’t play a big part in his life. Speaking to Flaunt magazine, he said looking back at his early years “feels very far away in some respects as there isn’t a religious aspect to my life now.” He added: “I think I often underestimate the impact of that upbringing and further underestimate the transition into a life without that faith. The belief in predestination and also the swathes of guilt have been the hardest elements to shake. But there are other parts of it that I am extremely grateful for; morality, community, love.”

The post Fleabag hunk Ben Aldridge: “I love the LGBTQ+ community and am incredibly proud and thankful to be a part of it.” appeared first on Guys Like U.

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Dynasty’s Rafael: “I suppressed being gay until I was 20”

June 29, 2020, 2:01 am
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Dynasty star Rafael de la Fuente has opened up about how he came out at 20 years old. Speaking in a Pride chat with trans actress Ivory Aquino, he explained that it took him many years to finally be true to himself as he struggled to feel comfortable about being gay.

“I always knew [I was gay] from a very young age,” he said. “I always felt what I felt inside of me was a little bit different than what was considered normal. When I was very young, probably around five or four, I identified male, but I didn’t have that separation of, like, this is boys’ stuff and this is girls’ stuff and I am supposed to like boys’ stuff. I liked everything. I liked to play with my girl cousin, I like to play with my Barbies. I liked to play sport with my boy friends. I had more girl crushes than boy crushes, but this was at four or five.”

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lighting test . . . @pablocostanzo

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However, Rafael, who plays the hilarious Sammy Jo in the Netflix smash hit, says that he found out soon enough that expressing himself in certain ways that felt natural to him didn’t always sit well with others. “I remember having a situation with my dad when one of my older cousins, who was a girl, painted my nails and I very proudly went to tell my dad, but he was very upset and he yelled at me and said “no, that that was for girls’. that was the first moment I felt shame. But then when I was older, in my teenage years, I had feelings for boys and I immediately suppressed them. I never really told myself ‘I’m gay’. not even in my head. I would suppress it. Until I was 20 when I came out.”

 

Rafael went on to explain that during his time at uni, he was endured mental heath issues because he found it a hard time to feel comfortable enough to admit to himself he was gay1 “I was in college. I was super depressed because I knew that life wasn’t working out for me,” he says. “The way I was living my life wasn’t authentic and it wasn’t working. I didn’t feel joy or any happiness. I felt trapped, I felt like small little shadow of myself.”

He admits that when he started to find out about other people’s coming out stories online, he gradually began to feel the confidence to come out. “I started watching a lot of videos of people telling their coming out stories,” he recalls. “I grew up in Venezuela and where I grew up in the late 90s. I didn’t grow up around any gay people that I knew were out. There were no representation of LGBTQ people in the media – it was all mockery and stereotypes and shells. Nothing real. Nothing you related to. Nothing that was aspirational in any way. Characters you would laugh at, not with. They were the characters you made fun at. I didn’t have anyone gay I could look up to.”

Luckily, hearing about other people like him and their happy stories helped him finally come out. “When I was about to graduate, I started looking up people telling their coming out stories and I started to see gay people being happy and successful, talking about things I had felt. Therefore I felt less of an alien and not as alone. And that it was possible to feel the way I felt and be okay and be successful and have a family.”

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R E P R E S E N T A T I O N M A T T E R S . It has been the honor and privilege of my life giving a voice and a face to my community through my work. . We are not to be treated as stereotypes, jokes or empty shells. We are NOT one dimensional. We are not the “other”. WE ARE YOU AND YOU ARE US. As HUMANS we all feel pain, we all feel joy, we all feel heartache, we all feel love, but most importantly WE ALL WANT TO BE SEEN. . LGBTQ people are complex, fascinating and deserving of the same amount of opportunities, and the same amount of platforms to tell our stories. . Regardless of our shared queer experience, we all have different struggles within our community. White gay men have privilege over black gay men, immigrant gay, bi and lesbian people deal with different issues than their American-born counter parts. . RACISM IS REAL WITHIN THE LGBTQ COMMUNITY AND WE MUST ADDRESS IT IMMEDIATELY. We know the pain of discrimination so we should know better… . WE MUST UPLIFT EACH OTHER, EMPATHIZE WITH EACH OTHER. . GIVE SPACE TO BLACK AND BROWN QUEER VOICES. . UPLIFT OUR TRANS BROTHERS AND SISTERS. #pridemonth . Just some thoughts… Love, R

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In a more recent instagram post Rafael spork about how proud he was of being able to represent LGBTQ+ people on screen. “It has been the honor and privilege of my life giving a voice and a face to my community through my work. We are not to be treated as stereotypes, jokes or empty shells. We are NOT one dimensional. We are not the “other”. WE ARE YOU AND YOU ARE US. As HUMANS we all feel pain, we all feel joy, we all feel heartache, we all feel love, but most importantly WE ALL WANT TO BE SEEN. .LGBTQ people are complex, fascinating and deserving of the same amount of opportunities, and the same amount of platforms to tell our stories.Regardless of our shared queer experience, we all have different struggles within our community. White gay men have privilege over black gay men, immigrant gay, bi and lesbian people deal with different issues than their American-born counter parts. RACISM IS REAL WITHIN THE LGBTQ COMMUNITY AND WE MUST ADDRESS IT IMMEDIATELY. We know the pain of discrimination so we should know better… WE MUST UPLIFT EACH OTHER, EMPATHIZE WITH EACH OTHER. GIVE SPACE TO BLACK AND BROWN QUEER VOICES. UPLIFT OUR TRANS BROTHERS AND SISTERS.”

Check out Rafael’s interview here:

The post Dynasty’s Rafael: “I suppressed being gay until I was 20” appeared first on Guys Like U.

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“Men flirt online but my hubby and I know who we belong with!”

July 4, 2020, 5:15 am
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Over the years GuysLikeU has happily introduced you to hundreds of gay young men who have generously shared their compelling personal stories which have entertained, informed and inspired thousands of others. One such guy is Londoner Petros, who became a GuysLikeU favourite after he opened up about coming out and revealed that in spite of his body confidence online he harboured body insecurities.

While many of his fans are tickled by Petros’ dashing looks, just as many admire him and his husband Rissi for their aspirational lifestyle and their optimistic outlook on life that they happily present on Instagram. Two years ago, a 16 year old Spanish lad called Alex got in touch with GuysLikeU to pay tribute to Petros and Rissi after reading Petros’s interviews on the site. He told us that having read about how he had come out and found love with Rissi had inspired him to find the courage to tell his family his family that he was gay .

As we begin to come out of lockdown we reached out to Petros once again to find out how life has changed for him and his husband during the pandemic and how their relationship has stood up to the pressure of living in each other’s pockets.

Petros, what have you discovered about yourself during lockdown? 
I’ve discovered how easily we as humans can adapt to new situations, that’s for sure. I mean it’s a pretty messed up situation. However, mentally I was able to deal with it and do the best possible! I’ve also discovered that I’m a crazy plant person. Since lockdown I have doubled the amount of plants that we had before.
What have you learnt about Rissi?
That he works too much. He’s a manager so he works long hours, and I can hear him talking to his colleagues on the phone. He’s super professional. Also that he drinks way more coffee than he led me to believe.

Do you think lockdown has reaffirmed your relationship?
Definitely, it has most definitely strengthened it. Don’t get me wrong, we were strong before, but this lockdown has forced us to literally be together 24/7. It was different before, we’d go to work and not see each other ten hours a day. Now we’re together all the time, and we just fit like a jigsaw. We decided near the beginning, he’ll cook and I’ll clean, so that worked out real well.
You’ve been married for a long time – how do you keep a relationship fresh?
Yeah, married eight years now! WOW a long time. We always keep ourselves occupied with the next challenge. If it’s not a big holiday, then it’s a home project etc. But honesty has been a key component to our relationship. We tell each other everything, including things that are concerning us or that we may not be happy with. But that and more also FUN. We got to make each other laugh and keep things interesting.

Do either of you get worried about the attention you get from guys online?
So we get asked this a lot, especially by guys online that are in relationships and are concerned about social media. I tell them it’s about being honest with your other half, and telling each other what you’re comfortable with. For us, we’ve been together almost 12 years, so we know each other very well. We know that guys can flirt, but at the end of the day we don’t take it seriously because we know who we belong with.

Obviously you’re not shy about flashing your body – are you fully aware that you are giving your fans what they want. Do you feel like youre performing for them?
Haha, it’s true, I do flash a little skin on my IG. I didn’t think I was performing for them, until people started messaging me suggesting I open an OnlyFans and monetise my following, but it’s not for me. I mean, as long as I’m not repulsing anyone, its just a little fun right?
What kind of messages do you get from people?
Ooof. All sorts. From people asking for relationship advice, skincare or hair routine to more obscene stuff. I do get messages from people in countries where there is no support for the LGBTQ+ community or where it is dangerous for them to be themselves. Those are really painful to read, but I try to respond to everyone and if possible, find services that can help them in their situation. I feel super guilty though, when I’m not able to respond to all messages.

You famously helped a 16 year of guy to come out to his parents – have you had any other touching stories?
Ah Alex! That was a really beautiful story. There have been a few similar situations, including a few proposals. One guy told me he was bringing his boyfriend to London on holiday and asked where I recommended he propose! It’s so cool to hear these things, it’s like I have a subscription to other people’s life stories.
Have you and your hubby considered starting family – how would you do it? 
Very much so. We’re both from big family oreintated backgrounds, so we do plan on having kids. Right now we prefer the adoption route, as there are so many children in the care system who are looking for parents.

Has your body changed over lockdown? Have you found it hard to keep trim?

Yes and no! I end up snacking a lot more while working from home. But because it’s easier to meal prep now, we have actually been eating healthier than ever. We just had to change what’s available to snack at home. I mix high-intensity fitness training with weight training, so losing the gym was tough, but I’m a member of District Fitness, so they have been great at lending equipment and organising Zoom classes so we can workout from home. I also took advantage to using a PT based in New York, who was recommended to me. He’s awesome!
Have you started growing any grey hairs?
Haha, maybe the odd one on my beard, and every now and then @sold_a_telly plucks a grey hair out the back of my head when he sees one.

Have you developed any new lockdown skills?

How to replot pants (into bigger pots for example). I also run way more now, so I can run further and faster, without dying afterwards.
What has got you through the whole period?
@sold_a_telly for sure! He’s been incredible. Patient, fun, and let’s be honest, a dreamboat to watch at home all day. I really do feel for some of my friends who have been alone during lockdown, but now it’s a little easier to meet in the park. Also Netflix and other subscription services. They’ve been keeping us going to remind us what life was like.

Have you coped with not being able to see you pals and go to bars?
It has definitely been tough not being able to see our friends, especially those that live nearby. I miss going to friends’ places for dinner and catch up. And hug them!! I’m a very tactile person so that is killing me.
Are you missing the gay scene?
Actually I’m not. To be honest over the last few years, we have been out on the gay scene less and less. We prefer house/dinner parties, or hanging out in the park. It would be a shame though if the gay scene is affected by the lockdown permanently, because it’s nice to take friends who are visiting from overseas every now and then.

The government have been criticised a lot about their handling of the current crisis. How do you think they have dealt with it?
Ugh. I think the government is too scared to say ‘You are NOT allowed to do this or that, etc.’ I feel the lockdown was way too slow to start. Plus we live overlooking a park and when you had to stick to your households, we saw so many big groups having picnics, and no police officers to inforce the rules.
What was the maddest thing they did wrong?
I just think that they were so slow at locking everything down. It felt like they were more concerned with keeping businesses open which had a devastating effect on those businesses anyway because they took so long to lockdown and will affect them in the long run.
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His flight is delayed

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Shops and bars are now open again. Do you think we are going back to normal life too soon?
I’ll admit I’ll miss the lockdown, but it’s different for me, I have my husband, and we had a lot of fun during lockdown. However, it’ll be great to have some normality again soon. I just hope we don’t have too many local lockdowns like the one in Leicester.
What do you make of the mad ramblings of JK Rowling? 
You know when you respect someone for so long, and then they say something that completely changes your image of them? I completely get what she’s saying about men dressing up as women just to get an opportunity to abuse other women in the restroom, but I would really like to know the percentages of those scenarios actually happening. I don’t think it justifies disregarding trans lives like that.

Does it worry you that there is a real shift to the right at the moment – the Polish president, for example, has said he would ban gay marriages…
It’s terrible that there are more and more of these politicians who clearly try to gain popularity from spouting so much hate. I do however, feel that it’s all cyclical and the next person in line with better views of the human race will do far better. I just hope the EU somehow can interfere with leaders trying to roll back rights.
Do you thing young gay guys take pride seriously enough? Do you think we need more education in schools about LGBT history?
We definitely need to learn more about LGBT history in schools, history which is impartial, because even for people of BAME their history is barely reflected in education. Education is way more important than damn statues. How can people be better if they can’t learn from their mistakes? As for young gay guys, I think it’s all a bit of fun for them but as they grow older and see the suffering that the LGBT community suffers, they then begin to see why Pride is needed and so important.

Over the past couple of months, the world has seemingly come to gather to address racism properly. Why do you think it took the murder of George Floyd to create such global debate?
Well as Will Smith said, it’s not getting worse, it’s just being filmed, and the sheer brutality of just one death being captured like that, pushed people to say, enough is enough. That and keeping the momentum going will hopefully show more and more people that this is a huge systemic problem that has been happening for hundreds of years.
How have you backed the campaign to eradicate racism?
We’ve both been having so many discussions with our friends, watching films that have been referenced online and been donating to charities such as the Black Lives Matter movement (it’s on my bio on IG). We wanted to attend the marches, however, we both visit people who are at high risk each week and didn’t want to jeopardise their health with COVID-19 so we try to do as much as we can using our online presence.

Pride has had been celebrated online this year.. how have you celebrated?
It’s killing us that we can’t celebrate Pride outdoors this year. All we can do is enjoy it indoors with each other and at the park with a limited group of friends. I must admit, I’ve been listening to a Spotify Pride playlist in the mornings to kick start the day.
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Werqing from home #beard #london

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More and more normal guys are launching only fans sites – would you ever consider it?  do you think its a good career move?
I don’t think its for me. I completely respect those who do it, and from what I see, their families understand, but I don’t think my mother would be so understanding. She’d slap the crap out of me. It seems super profitable though! Maybe I should put out an OnlyFans and just photoshop Super Mario with no clothes on, see how far I get before people realise its not me.

 

The post “Men flirt online but my hubby and I know who we belong with!” appeared first on Guys Like U.

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Alistair Watkins-Stuart: “I’d given up on love, but then met the man of my dreams!”

July 13, 2020, 6:29 am
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When Alistair Watkins-Stuart first realised he was gay, unlike many of us, he didn’t worry too much about his parents reacting badly. As far as he was concerned, his mum and dad were both a liberal-minded, accepting pair who would embrace him without a care in the word. His only worry was the embarrassment of having to have the ‘coming out’ conversation that was basically about what he gets up to in the bedroom – a subject no kid wants to chat to their parents about, right?
“A lot of gay people worry about telling their parents and I can relate to that, not because they weren’t loving, but because it’s such an odd concept,” Alistair, a 37-year old freelance illustrator from Cardiff, tells GuysLikeU.com. “You’re essentially telling them that you have sex with men, or at least want to. Nobody really relaxes discussing sex with their parents, do they? It’s so unnecessary but so vital a declaration.”
 
However, in spite of his parents’ support, Alistair discovered that in the big wide world, people were not as tolerant and as kind as his nearest and dearest, which led to him enduring some rather tough times. Here, in a frank interview, gorgeous Alistair looks back at his rollercoaster teens during which he dealt with name calling, body image insecurities and mental health issues that he says were eased, in part, when he met the love of his life just as he gave up on finding love…

Alistair, tell us about your childhood and the family life you grew up in…
I grew up in a relatively rural market town about 14 miles outside of Cardiff. I have two younger brothers with two years between each of us. The house could be pretty chaotic, especially seeing as we each had such different (sometimes conflicting) personalities. My dad is a local GP and my mum is an ex-nurse. Both my parents were from working class backgrounds but my brothers and I were fortunate enough to grow up in a middle class, affluent area, in comfort. We were and still are a close family, having dinner at the table every night and usually ending up in hysterics by dessert. My parents are lovely. We were lucky
What kind of a fella were you growing up? 
As a young child I was what you might call ‘unusual’ and I think a lot of other LGBTQ people will understand what I mean by that. I had an extremely vivid imagination, often writing and drawing for hours. I played with girl’s toys and most of my friends were female, with a few male exceptions. In my teens, things shifted significantly, at least that’s the way it felt for me. I had more guy friends and, although none of us could be classed as popular, we seemed to exist in a fairly comfortable, protected bubble. I still had female friends, but i was very conscious that the nature of my friendships with girls would be subject to scrutiny. Basically, I was gay but wasn’t ready for others to know. I hadn’t even fully accepted it. I still had a very vivid imagination and that has followed me into adulthood.

When did you come to realise you were gay? 
I was young, maybe six or seven. That’s not to say that I was conscious of being gay. I just knew that I wanted to play kiss-chase with a certain boy and not with the girls. What’s interesting about that memory is that I didn’t see anything wrong with kissing boys at the time until an adult told me otherwise. I won’t say who the adult was but it was someone I admired.
Was being gay something you found hard to accept? 
Yes. Very much so. I was a teenager in the 90s when gay people seemed to be treated like second class citizens in all but name. We couldn’t get married, we couldn’t adopt, our history/culture was never discussed in school unless it was in a derogatory or cautionary way. I longed to be ‘normal’ and as a byproduct of that I developed demonstrative but fraudulent crushes on girls.
Who was the person you were most worried to tell? 
Everyone! Not that I thought they would love me less but once the words were spoken they could not be unspoken and I knew my life would change.
True.
A lot of gay people worry about telling their parents and I can relate to that, not because they weren’t loving, but because it’s such an odd concept.
What do you mean?
You’re essentially telling them that you have sex with men, or at least want to. Nobody really relaxes discussing sex with their parents, do they? It’s so unnecessary but so vital a declaration.

So, who was the first person you told and what was their reaction?
The first person I told was my uni friend, Donna. I was in a beer garden with her and my housemate, Nick. Out of the blue, Nick came out as gay. This was a pivotal moment for me as well for Nick. I had been in a secret relationship with our other housemate for two years and had wanted to come out for a long time. The three of us sat and talked about his coming out and it was lovely. Nick had to go to a lecture or something and pretty much as soon as he left i turned to Donna and said “brace yourself… I’m gay too’. She reeled slightly, I mean who can blame her. A coming-out-double-whammy will do that to a person. After the initial shock she was fantastic. Again, it was lovely and I’m extremely grateful to her for being so compassionate.
How did your family take it? 
My parents were great. I knew they would be as my godfathers are a gay couple and my dad has been friends with them since uni in the 70s when it was definitely not cool. My mum had also been vocal about her disdain for anti-gay rhetoric. She’d always known I was gay I think. Again, I was very fortunate.

What was life at school for you?  

It was a mixed bag. I was a sociable teenager but found myself very self-conscious in certain circumstances because I knew that invariably another kid would make a ‘faggot’ joke, usually directed at me. Others seemed more preoccupied by my sexuality than I was and that had a harmful effect; I felt trapped. Ironically, I was not even out at this point and having zero sex! I was, however, luckier than a lot of other LGBTQ people in that I had great straight friends. They made gay jokes like everybody else but they looked out for me. It was a weird dichotomy. I felt loved by them but also marginalised. We’ve all been there.
Haven’t we just! What happened as you got older?
My later school life spawned several years of internalised homophobia. I studied English lit at A level and enjoyed it, mainly because we had an incredible teacher. She was a 50-something, chain-smoking, unapologetic divorcee with rapier wit. I adored her. One day, during a class debate, she uttered the words: “I would never vote for a gay prime minster because gays just don’t think like normal people”.
Ah, so you felt let down by her. 
That sentence rolled off her tongue, in the husky, commanding voice that I admired so much, and my heart just broke. The debate moved on and the topic quickly changed, but I was stuck. I think I was stuck in that moment for a long time. Much longer than I realised. It’s important to mention that I did have a girlfriend in sixth form and like a lot of closeted gay men, I broke her heart, which in turn broke mine.
Oh no. Are you friends now?
We are and have since been on many adventures together. I danced with her at her wedding she danced with me at mine. Not too shabby by half.

Men tend to be terrible about opening up about mental health issues – have there been times in your life when things have become too much to deal with?

Two years ago my mental health imploded. After a few months of CBT, increased exercise and a lot of honesty with my friends/family, I was in a much better place. Still am! The fog has lifted and I intend to keep it that way. It takes vigilance to stay mentally well and I hope that those going through a dark time know they can beat it. In my opinion, mental health is paramount. It trumps youth, beauty, style, career, money, status. That’s not to to say those things aren’t important to some (myself included).. Mental health is just MORE important.

Was looking for love always a priority? 
In my 20s I would say that I was lovelorn, in that I had a lot of love to give and hook-ups were not for me. I dated quite a few guys, mostly with the hope that it would lead to a relationship. It took a while to find a keeper or someone that wanted to keep me.
And yes, you lucky man, you’re married now….
I’ve been with my husband for 12 years, married for almost seven. We met in a gay club when I was teetering on the precipice of giving up on dating. It’s such a cliche but it’s true. I saw him dancing his weird chicken dance and I just thought ‘that cutie is my kinda freak’. I definitely wanted to get married as did he. But it took five years to get there. We’re in it for the long haul, so what’s five years?!

Is being with someone about sex, or is about commitment, companionship? 
A healthy dash of all three! Those components shift like tectonic plates. What you need from your partner depends on what life throws at you.
Do you believe in monogamy?
I do believe in monogamy but it’s not for everyone. My thinking about monogamy was very black and white in my 20s but not at all now. Every couple is entitled to set their own parameters, regardless of what others think. Also, people have desires and make mistakes. We’re all flawed.
Have you made strong friendships along the way?
My enduring friendships have always been with supportive, funny, intelligent and caring people. I also believe in friendships being non-judgemental and free of unnecessary guilt. Constructive criticism is definitely okay though! Friends should elevate each other in a healthy way. On the flip side, I also believe in distancing yourself from people who contribute little positivity to your friendship or make you feel bad about yourself. Every relationship, platonic or otherwise, should be more rewarding than punitive. Removing toxic people from your life is certainly a skill you become more proficient at over time.

You’re a handsome guy, do you think your looks have opened doors for you?
Oh, now this is a tricky one, because attractiveness is entirely subjective. Men have definitely tried to treat me like a piece of meat before but that’s not something I go in for, especially not at this stage in my life. In my younger days there were occasions when I dumbed myself down in order to meet other men’s expectations and not exceed them. From my observations, if you’re considered ‘conventionally attractive’ then people tend to have relatively low expectations of your personality. Women suffer from this presumption far more than we do!
But there’s more to people than looks, right?
I think it’s how you perceive yourself and how you present yourself to the world. In terms of my illustration career, I’d like to think that my abilities have more merit than my looks. I hope that guys who follow me on insta for my selfies, stick around for my talent. If they do just stick around for my selfies that’s A-okay also.
Have you always been happy about the day you look?
I am much more comfortable in my skin now. It took me 30 years to get here and there’s more work to be done… I mean that figuratively not literally, although never say never!For years I punished myself for the things I ate. I’ve been underweight and overweight. A lot of how we feel about our looks is carved out in adolescence. For example, I was overweight as a teenager and hated it. People joked about my size and it stuck with me for a long time. Now, I exercise regularly and eat as healthily as I can. I hate crash diets and terms like ‘cheat days’… they just make me feel bad about myself. I am nowhere near 100% okay with my body and I don’t suppose I ever will be, but I’m going to keeping chipping away at those pesky self doubts that were forged in my formative years.
Do you think gay men are obsessed with the body beautiful 
Historically, yes. I do think the tide is turning though. My Instagram feed is a glorious rainbow of body types, and people celebrating different body types. That could be because of the people I choose to follow and unfollow. Social media is a notorious echo chamber but I hope it has a wider reach than that.
A lot of gay men use instagram as a means to boost their self esteem – do you have a healthy relationship with social media?  
Not always, but much more so now. Instagram is crucial for my work so I’ve had to learn how to utilise it without damaging my self-esteem. I have clients all over the world who have discovered my illustrations through social media and without that exposure my workload would dry up.  There’s no denying that likes, follows and shares can bolster your confidence and most people are looking for validation on social media. Even when people post pictures of their pets/children/banana bread they want a positive response and I don’t see any harm in that as long as you know that life outside social media is paramount to your happiness.

You’re a very talented illustrator – when did you start doing that and how did you turn it into a business?
I have been drawing since I was a kid. I took a detour in my young adulthood and studied Psychology at uni because during the late 90’s art was still considered a dead-end career by a lot of people. After uni I traveled around for a bit and then took an evening class in website design. I hated it BUT it introduced me to photoshop. My husband was trained in graphics up to Masters level and gave me a more in-depth understanding of digital art. Before long I was scanning my sketches into photoshop and painting them.
We love your style. Has it developed over the years?
In the beginning my illustrations were very cartoon-like, a lot of people made comparisons to Tin-Tin and they seemed to like my style. Over time I developed a range of sardonic greeting cards and sold them at every craft and gift fair I could get in to. My husband came with me to very single one. It was both incredibly rewarding and excruciating at times but overall very useful. I started to see patterns in what people liked and more importantly which designs inspired people to put their hands in their pockets and part with their hard earned cash. It blew my mind and continues to blow my mind that people pay for my work.

That’s a good sign.
After a year or two I had created several ranges of greeting cards and a range of aprons and mugs, all of which were stocked in independent shops and online. I wasn’t breaking any records but I was developing a client base and this is where my career started to take a different trajectory. Repeat customers began requesting bespoke family portraits for themselves, friends and loved ones. After another year or so, my workload came from bespoke illustrations only. This also allowed me to experiment with and develop my style.
  
Do you have a plan for the illustrations? 
A few years ago I wrote, illustrated and self-published a children’s book which sold out a couple of times. I have written a sequel and partially illustrated it but, for now, comissions take up most of my creative time.
I would love love love to be involved in more fashion/editorial illustration… Vogue, feel free to slide into my DM’s
 

There’s a big love theme in your pictures… what inspires that? 
The bulk of my work comes from custom portraits and a large percentage of them are for couples and families. I also try to imbue any solo portraits with a feeling of self-love. I’d say that my work is colourful and has a kind of accessible humour about it which I think adds to the overtones of love that you see. The great thing about art is that you really do pour a lot of your heart into it. Every piece is a new discovery for me.

With all the things happening in the world how do you think we will change?  
This is a loaded question and believe me I could witter on for quite some time but, overall, I’m hopeful that things will change for the better. If you look at any period of civil unrest in the past, a lot of dust gets kicked up, extremists rear their ugly heads, people get confused and scared and sometimes angry, but we end up slightly (sometimes significantly) more enlightened. Social evolution is not easy and it’s devastating that tragedies have to take place for more people to pay attention, myself included. What feels so seismic about this period in time is the sheer magnitude of the events happening around us. For example, we are speaking on a global level about vital humanitarian issues like the BLM movement and trans rights. It’s incredibly powerful and although it can be divisive, I believe it’s ultimately going to be healing.

What would you say to your 12 year old self about the future. 
When you get to 21 you will experience an overwhelming urge to bleach your hair- don’t do it. Nobody wins in that situation, least of all your curl definition. Jokes aside, I would tell myself never to wear bootcut jeans. I jest. To be honest, I’m not sure I know where to begin. ‘It gets better’ has been taken but it’s the truth.
To see more of Alistair’s stunning designs head to Slightly Wobbly Designs or follow him on Twitter and Instagram

The post Alistair Watkins-Stuart: “I’d given up on love, but then met the man of my dreams!” appeared first on Guys Like U.

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Loic Landry: “I was afraid I would be killed or jailed for being gay in Cameroon!”

July 13, 2020, 11:59 pm
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As we’re all beginning to realise during these very strange times, life is far from perfect for any of us. But as gay guys in the UK, we don’t have it so bad! Sure, a lot of us still have to deal with homophobia and discrimination from time to time, but sadly there will always be weak, cowardly people who spew hate because of their ungrounded fear of anyone who is different to them.

But if we look back at all the amazing developments we have seen over the past 25 years – gay marriage, more and more LGBT+ visibility across all careers – we have to admit, life is looking a lot rosier than it used to. 

If you’re still not convinced, compare how the LGBT+ community is treated in countries like Russia, Chechnya, Dubai and you’ll understand just how lucky we really are. Just this week, our hearts sunk when Poland re-elected bigoted Andrzej Duda as president for another five year term despite the fact he had run a campaign in which he pledged to scrap gay marriage and not support adoption by gay couples. He also said he planned to “ban the propagation of LGBT ideology” in schools and public institutions. In 2020, this is a pretty scary and ultimately depressing development, right?

Meet Loic Landry Tchouante, a 35 year old IT Engineer, who knows only too well about growing up in a country that will punish you for being gay. Although he now lives happily in London, the handsome chap grew up in Cameroon, a country where you can be arrested or jailed for committing ‘gay acts’. Here, in an very personal and enlightening interview, he opens up about coming out to his religious family, having his heart broken and how he dealt with the loss of his beloved mother and long term partner.

Loic, tell us about growing up in Cameroon…

I come from a big family. I have one older brother and three sisters, a lot of uncles, aunts, cousins and distant cousins. I was brought up very Catholic in a very religious family. I was actually very religious myself. I spent a lot of time in church for mass and I also sang in the choir. We also travelled a lot because of my father’s work. Overall, everything in life was going pretty well until I reach puberty.

Why?  

At home, I would say when I am not studying, or busy doing house works, the tension, I would say it was always high. In that period, I have been thankful to have had an excellent relationship with my brother and sisters because they would calm me down when I needed it.

How is being gay viewed in Cameroon?

It is a country that does not accept or see gay men as sane humans. Therefore, many gay men are severely punished for their sexual choice. Those convicted of homosexual acts are jailed and can be given sentences varying from six months to five years -that’s if you haven’t been killed by the crowd first. It’s all very sad!

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#friday #fitness sorted

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What was life at school like for you?

School was like a battle ground for me. I was bullied, called names, beaten, mugged, basically just awful things happened to me. I was the type of person who would not fight back, because I was more scared about what damage I may cause them if I did. I could not understand why I was being singled out.”Why me?”I would ask. “What was happening to me?” I had no one to turn to. All the suffering went on for many years until I decided enough was enough.

And what happened then? When did you start to work out you were gay?

When I reached puberty and my physical appearance changed which made me more vocal about their behaviour. Looking back, I think I knew as a little kid. There were games I’d play with friends. We were all kids and just innocently exploring our hidden sexual desires, like many kids do. There were other times, when I was staying with friends and we’d be sharing a bed and would kind of touch each other. It was all very innocent. But I became fully aware of my sexual attraction to men when I was around sixteen when I met a guy from school who I became good friends with.

So was this around the time you had your first gay experience?

Since we knew each other were gay, we decided to try it out. It happened at an empty stadium, in the middle of the night. Nothing sexual though, I mean, no penetration or anything. We were just two adolescent guys enjoying being gay for those few seconds we had in hand. There were a lot of kisses, lots of touching, caressing, sucking, and a lot of wanking. It was a wonderfully memorable night.

Growing up where you did, was gay something you didn’t want to accept? 

Being religious and in a country that does not handle gays very well, I just couldn’t bring myself to accept I was gay. Like most African families, all of my siblings and I come from a family that takes it’s Catholicism very seriously. This means a man is expected to get married to a woman and have a lot of babies. So when all this  happened, I was extremely confused because I was also sexually attracted to women – but not as much. Having heard what the term ‘homosexual’ meant, I did not want to admit that it is what I am. I was worried about disappointing my family and I was afraid that I may get killed or be put in jail if anyone ever found out. I then decided to deny that side of me almost entirely.

It must have been hard to keep this all to yourself. Who was the first person you ended up telling?

When I was 22 and studying in Moscow, there was this handsome and very well dressed man in my class. Over time, we became excellent friends, and he was the first person I said the words “I am gay!” to. I took him by surprise, and he started to cry. Then after a few minutes he said, “Me too!”. We were both incredibly relieved, and from then on we could not stop talking about Russian men.

That’s amazing. What about your family?  How did they take it? 

My brother and sisters accepted me with open arms. They are happy as long as I am happy. I would have loved to tell my mother but she sadly passed away in December 2011 of breast cancer.

Oh gosh, that’s so sad. You only recently told your father, didn’t you? Why did you wait so long?

I was not ready. Now I’m 35, I’m independent and in a very happy place mentally and physically, and living my best life so far, I thought this would be the most appropriate time to tell him. So on June 10th of this year, I decided it was the day I should to tell him. It was such a stressful moment for me, but it was worth it. I can now say that I am the proudest and the happiest gay man on earth at the moment. You see, for me, next to God, is my father and my mother. I have so much respect for him, and I could not be thankful enough to him (and my mother) for the life he allowed me to have. Thanks to him, I am here in London.

Some young people who are coming terms with their sexuality tend to suffer from mental health issues. Did you?

Oh, most certainly!! It was so severe that I attempted to leave my country on many occasions. (I guess now my dad will know about this one.) At the time I had no idea what was happening to me. I was very unhappy in my skin and in the country I was living in. In that state, my mind pushed me to do things that got me caught out and saw me severely beaten and punished. They are not the happiest memories.

When you were properly out, did you throw yourself into the scene. Was it as you expected? 

Once I met other gays in Cameroon, they helped me discover the secret gay life that was going on there, mostly in Douala, where I spent most of my childhood. Let me just say, there is practically no scene in Cameroon. However, the scene that exceeded and surpassed my expectations was the Moscow gay scene. It was mind-blowing for a closeted black gay man coming from Africa like me.

Did you enjoy it? Did you feel like you belonged?  

In Cameroon, there was this sense that I did not belong there. As hard as I tried to stifle the attraction I had for men, it was always at the forefront of my mind. I did not want to get caught, or killed, or have my family know about my sexuality. I just wanted to leave. But once I was finally out of Cameroon and in Moscow, I didn’t have time to think about whether I belonged there or not. I was grasping at life and just wanted to discover the world and this new country I was in. I was very curious. To finally meet gay people who lived a perfectly fine and open gay life helped make me understand that being gay was actually okay and I could be a gay man living (almost) free.

How hard was it living a double life? 

I have been living one for 33 years. So hiding away became normal for me, especially when I was living in Cameroon. But once I left the African continent and went to Moscow, I shed half of that second skin while still keeping everything hidden away from social media and from anyone who knows a member of my family. But I had a different mindset. I was no longer afraid that a member of my family could physically hurt me as I was so far away from them. The same thing happened when I moved to London in 2010. I shed the other half of that second skin by being more open and sharing a bit more on social media. But I realised all that brainpower I used all these years to cover things up was way too exhausting to continue, and it was tough mentally. I was always anxious about when I’d get a phone call with a Cameroonian country code. It was such a frustrating time that I would not wish anyone to have to experience that.

Once you were content in your sexuality, what weer you looking for most? 

I had different stages of my life when I sought different things! Back in Cameroon, I was not looking for anything in particular. I was more driven by curiosity as I did not want to be in any sort of trouble. Then in Moscow, I became more of a sexual being. I was also driven by curiosity as I wanted to experiment and explore as much as possible, and during that process, I experienced love twice.

That’s good! How did you meet guys? 

In Cameroon, through friends and then online. There was no internet at that point, so meet-ups were through other gays you’d meet. But years later, internet cafes started popping up, and the numbers of hook-up sites grew, which made meeting guys a little bit easier. However, it was also dangerous because using those same gay hook-up sites saw a lot of gays being arrested and jailed.

Personally, was love what you were seeking?  

I do think that if you look for love, it will always run away from you. Therefore, I decided not to look for it, and just thought, what will be will be. So I throw myself out there, tried to meet men and if love struck, I would be the first one to hold on to it. But in the meantime, I was enjoying my life just as it was.

You did meet a guy at one point. Was it hard having a relationship in secret? 

I think it was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. I was not good at it. Andrew, my partner, was not making stuff easier for me either especially after we got civil partnered. I lived with him for nine years and was in a civil partnership over five years of those. He kept asking me when he could see my family and I kept swatting it away. Eventually he met my brother and sisters, but I felt guilty because I felt they had to lie to our family to keep my secret safe. And that was part of the main reasons why I had to eventually come out to my father.

You lost your mother around this the time. How did that effect you?

Although my relationship with my father is perfect right now, it has not always been that way. My father was on the road for work. So my mother was the only person we all relied on when we needed most things. She was always present. Losing her in 2010 was painful. The hurtful bit was the fact that I spoke to her a day before her passing and we promised to call each other the next day. Then my brother told me of her death. I was speechless. I did not want to accept it until I spoke to my father, who confirmed the news. We were in different countries, so it was tough to process. I spiralled into loneliness. I was overwhelmed by the emptiness that my mother left.

How did you deal with it?

After I came back from the funeral in Cameroon, I felt an enormous void. Pain grew every day. I had no idea of what was happening to me and was unable to deal with it and get my life back. I was getting angrier and angrier. And things got worse and worse.

In what way?

I discovered that Andrew had had sex with someone while I was burying my mother. This is when I fell into a much darker place. I felt like giving up on life and I started to experience suicidal thoughts. You see, I was madly in love and was afraid to lose him. I became very insecure and suspicious, and I started looking for new evidence –  I was constantly wondering if he was still in touch with the man he had had sex with or whether or not they were still having sex or if there were more men he had been with. I became a mess.

Did you speak to him about it?

No. You see, after I found out Andrew had cheated on me, I did not confront him for an explanation. Instead I kept it to myself, waiting for the right opportunity to chat him about it. After a year or so, I was severely anxious, depressed and insecure about it and my mental health was horrible. Then one evening we got home after an event feeling drunk and I confronted him. It did not go well at all. He refused to talk to me because I was too intoxicated, but in my head, I understood what was what and his dismissal felt as though I was not valued enough to be even being spoken to. I was livid and reached for the kitchen knife that was just lying there on the counter and said to him, ‘I have no reason to continue to live since you do not even want to talk to me’. But he grabbed the knife, hugged me and said ‘Let’s go to bed. We will talk tomorrow’, and I passed out. The next day, we had a lengthy talk about everything. I explained as much as I could about my emotions and feelings, which he reciprocated.

So you were able to forgive him? 

At first, no. It was difficult to see past what he had done. But I said to myself that in every relationship there are ups and downs, and this was one of our downs. I had to find the strength to forgive him. We started our relationship anew and enjoyed a few more years together and became civil partners.

When you were going through those dark times, how did you deal with it?  

It was tough for me to know what was going on. Coming from Africa, I had never heard of depression or anxiety or mental health. Two days after our talk, Andrew convinced me to go to our GP, which was truly educational for me. He put me on an antidepressant but I didn’t like it, as it made me feel like a vegetable. I felt emotionless. So I asked for a different solution. That is when he told me about meditation, which ended up working like a miracle.

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Taking it very easy today! #fullbodyworkout

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So you and your partner stayed together. Was it happy ever after?

We were five years into our relationship and married for two years when a doctor told us that Andrew had cancer.  It was stage four cancer – which is the final stage – when it was.discovered. Sadly he lost his battle.

How did you deal with his death?

Losing him was much harder than losing my mother. I saw life slowly leaving him as he took his last breath on July 18 2017. I was at his side, holding him in my arms whispering that my mother would be welcoming him despite the fact they never met. I felt incredibly thankful to have been there when he died, and that helped me manage his passing better than I expected. I think from that date, my outlook on life has dramatically changed from what it was before his passing.

Did you have people around you to look after you?

Yes, I had an army of people supporting me after they heard about Andrew’s death. I could not be more grateful for the support all of those friends gave me.

You say people say you are now full of joy – how have all the events in your life given  you that optimistic outlook on life?

They simply made me understand and learn so many things. I have learnt to control of my emotions. I have learnt to accept who I am mentally and physically. I have come to realise that life is short, and that I must live in the present. I know that I should always be myself. I have learnt to accept all my flaws, have empathy and work to every day to become a better version of myself. As a result all this at the present moment, I have never enjoyed my life as much as I do.

Is it hard to stay happy?

Now that I have control over my emotions, I think it has become easier to stay happy. Because now I have so many ‘happiness triggers’ which significantly grew, especially when we were going through this Covid-19 and quarantine period. There was a day when I went out for a walk with my dog recently wearing a purple top. The sun was shining brightly and we walked I came across a bush of purple flowers that matched my top. I could not believe the coincidence and the joy that came over me was just incredible. Then, when my dog went on to pee on one of the purple bushes, while I was taking a selfie, I just couldn’t stop laughing.  You always have to find little things that can lift your mood, even when you are going through a tough time like I did recently when I lost a dear friend of mine.

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#10yearchallenge . . . #10yearschallenge

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What advice would you give someone who has gone through as many hard times as you?

If the person is still in the dark, I would recommend the person to start meditation immediately. It helps control your emotions, sharpen your awareness, and give you a clear and stable state of mind. Be aware that doing one session of meditation will not make a big difference. You have to have multiple sessions. Until today, I have meditation sessions at least five times a week.

The world is changing so dramatically following the disgusting murder of George Floyd – how did you feel when you saw the footage?

I was mortified. It is awful that this is still happening in this 21st century and it makes me sad.  But I am very grateful that the world has woken up and come together to fight for the black community.

As a man of colour, have you experienced racism in the street or at work?

Oh many times, especially when I was Moscow. It was always on the tube, mainly when I would sit next to an older lady who would immediately get up and change her sit or stand. I have tried to shield myself from that type of behaviour. So I just swatted it away all the times when it happened and did not allow it to get under my skin.

You must be thrilled to see so many young people coming together and finally understanding what happened to other people of colour in the past? 

I am over the moon. It means those young people learned their history and their friends’ history, and do not agree with what has happened in the past. I hope they will not stop fighting until there are significant changes in the black community.

Local councils are being urged to remove statues of people who had links to slavery – as a gay man do you think we should do the same with figures who were homophobic – should Margaret Thatcher statues be removed because of Clause 28 in the 80s?

I think the statues should stay in place, but the engravings – or the statue’s description – should be changed to emphasise the homophobic remarks. For the statues with links to slavery, the same thing should apply and perhaps place a distinctive tag or logo that will not be missed on the description plate or the engravings of the statues so everyone would know those people were linked to slavery or were homophobic. And all should be available and be easy to locate on every online map.

What have you discovered about yourself during lock down?

This lockdown has been hard on every one of us. I live alone, and I have time to continue to understand and learning more about myself, and one thing that has been on the fore front is patience. I learnt how to be patient.

What would you say to your 12 year old self?

Things will be tough, but you must reach to your siblings because you are not alone.  Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable. Be yourself, and always remember that your family and friends will always have your back.

If you have been affected by this story, call The Samaritans at any time, from any phone for FREE. Call 116 123. 

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Why the movie Showgirls is actually ‘better than a ten inch d*ck!’

July 14, 2020, 6:37 am
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Documentary film maker Jeffrey McHale tells GuysLikeU why notorious skin flick Showgirls is a work of camp genius!

Showgirls. It’s the neon-lit 90s flick about the filthy and bitchy lives of a bunch of lithe, scheming Las Vegas pole dancers that has divided the world for almost 25 years. Many think it is a vacuous, flesh-flashing exploitative abomination made by ‘the sleazebags’ who made Basic Instinct, while others think is a hard hitting feminist movie that shines a light on the vile behaviour of the money men behind the scenes who manipulate, control and exploit vulnerable women.

GuysLikeU is definitely Team Showgirls as we have loved it from day one for all of the above. Sure, it’s trashy! Yes, it’s tacky and by Lord it’s brash and harsh on the eyes, but hey folks, it’s about Vegas! That’s what Sin City is all about, right? But at the same time, it’s also incredibly well produced, fluidly directed by the mighty Paul Verheoven and is endlessly quotable thanks to a ridiculous script penned by Joe Esztahaus that simply sizzles and features lines like ‘You look better than a ten inch dick’ and ‘Must be weird not having anyone cum on ya!’

For those of you who are yet to experience this veritable cinematic masterpiece – here’s the story in a nutshell. Nomi Malone is a wannabe showgirl who wants to make it big in Las Vegas. Only problem is, if she wants to triumph and see her name in lights she has to get legendary Crystal Connors out of the way. Complications arise when Crystal plays a love hate game with Nomi and our hero gets caught up deeper in the seedy world of Sin City.

When the $40m movie was released in 1995, the reviews were scathing and audiences stayed away in their droves. While Paul Verheoven took the criticism on the Dutch chin (he even turned up to accept a handful of Golden Raspberry’s), the cast, in particular Elizabeth Berkley, were left savaged by the cruel reactions. 

But fear not folks, the movie got its Hollywood ending. Years later, the movie was embraced by the LGBT+ community, found an embracing crowd at late night screenings and fast became a cult smash that even the critics who slayer it at the time of the release have come around to.

Now in his affectionate new documentary You Don’t Nomi, director Jeffrey McHale explores the cult phenomenon and finally gives the film the respect it deserves and why it is in fact better than a ten inch dick!  Here, Jeffrey tells GuysLikeU why there is more to Showgirls than many critics would have us believe.   

Jeffrey, you say in your doc that you  came to Showgirls ten years after it had come out – had the terrible reviews put you off? 

It wasn’t the terrible  reviews that kept me away from Showgirls. It was probably my memory of the salacious advertising campaigns that made me think that this film wasn’t for me. So I really hadn’t given it much thought. But boy, was I wrong.

When you did see it for the first time, did you find it as bad as it had been described? What was your initial thought?

It was like nothing I had ever seen before. But there’s a feeling you get when you are in the presence of true high camp. It’s hard to describe. You get a feeling of excitement, joy, laughter, and so many questions. I didn’t want it to end. I have been a fan of Showgirls ever since my first viewing in my early 20s. Showgirls is one of those movies I’ve watched over and over multiple times throughout my life. And there are plenty of movies that I think are amazing and beautiful but I never needed to see them again. But I was curious why it’s something that we keep returning to. I was at the 20th-anniversary screening of film out in LA at Cinespia in 2015and experiencing the Showgirls love with 4000 other fans, I set out to dive deeper into the world of Nomi Malone and explore why her story has come to mean something—sometimes ironic, sometimes sincere—to so many people.

What did you know of Esterhaus and Verhoeven at the time – had you seen their previous work?

I was a huge Basic Instinct and Starship Troopers fan prior to my first Showgirls viewing. I knew of Robocop and Total Recall, but would first view them a few years later too. I knew Verhoeven was a satirist and you can feel that when you watch his films. But I think like many Americans, Showgirls didn’t feel like it fits in with the rest of Verhoeven’s films. But when you look at his whole career it’s actually Verhoeven at his purest.

Were you able to look past the glossy sheen and trashiness of the scenes to see the serious issues being raised in the movie?

Yes, I think there are many serious issues that surround Showgirls, within the film itself and the reception to it. This is why I wanted to dive deeper into the film and get a better understanding of my own fascination with this complicated piece of cinema.

The LGBT community have been drawn to this filmg for so many years… Why?

This was a question I was really proud we got to delve into in my film and I think it starts with Nomi herself. The ‘hero’s journey’ of Nomi Malone as someone who sets out to follow her dreams in a big city, finds her chosen family, and uses her strength and sexuality to fend for herself is a story that so many queer people can relate to. Nomi fights be seen, to be heard, to be recognised. What woman or gay man hasn’t had to do that too? It’s a movie for us, even if it wasn’t intended to be. This big budget studio film was just so vehemently rejected by the mainstream, but we took it in, raised it back up, and celebrated it at the midnight hour for the last 25 years.

Some of the storylines are actually pretty hard hitting. When Nomi’s friend Molly is brutally rape it highlights the way men in power think they can throw money at a problem to make it go away. Do you think people didn’t see these elements the first time because they were dazzled by neon lights and boobs?

Showgirls is a movie where almost everyone is an asshole. Except Molly. I think a lot of the dismissals had to do with critics and audiences questioning the intentions of the creators. It also had a lot to do with the NC-17 rating (only over 17s could watch it) that Paul Verhoeven was allowed to deliver, which was huge at the time for a major studio.

On the flip side, it also portrays many of the women as strong characters – especially Nomi and Crystal who are as toughened as manipulative as the men. Do you think Showgirls is in some way a feminist movie?

I have a hard time believing that feminist ideals were what motivated the making of Showgirls. But, a film doesn’t need to have feminist ideals for someone to find a feminist message in it or through it. What I can point to is the vast and diverse female fan-base that finds power and strength with the film.

Do you feel the film has been given too hard a time in terms of its artistry? Verhoeven’s direction is very fluid and impressive and the design of it is exquisite. Do you think the film’s directorial merits have been overlooked because of the terrible reactions.

Yes, I do think many of the films technical and stylistic successes were overlooked at the time of initial release.

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5 YEARS AGO – I don’t think anyone knew we would witness a miracle that night. The thought certainly didn’t even cross my mind as my husband and I dragged a cooler full of tequila and potato chips with our friends through the Hollywood Forever Cemetery for @cinespia . Still, we felt something special in the air. We were there for the 20th-anniversary screening of Paul Verhoeven’s Showgirls, an event that would have had the energy of a Pride parade in normal circumstances, but on this night—the day after the Supreme Court issued its ruling legalizing gay marriage—there was a special energy in the air. That seems almost quaint when you think about it today, but under the setting sun in a grass meadow at this old cemetery where L.A.’s cinephiles gather on summer nights to watch classic films, the stars aligned. Given this, you can imagine the surprise of the crowd when, from behind a facade of flowers, the goddess emerged. As she walked into the light of the projection frame, a wave of gasps, then uproarious cheers swelled through the audience as everyone gradually realized we were in the presence of the Showgirl herself, Elizabeth Berkley. It was the actor’s first public Showgirls-related appearance since the film’s release, and it was divine. She introduced the film and took in our applause, glowing and beaming with the pride befitting a star among her fans. As a moment we had been waiting for but never dared to think possible, it felt sacred, like an apotheosis. At last, the fans of this much maligned and misunderstood film were being seen by its star just as we had always seen her: St. Nomi. You Don’t Nomi began as a personal quest to better understand my own fascination with this complicated film but became a love letter to a queer counterculture that embraced it when no one else would and engaged with its complexities the way no one else can. – Jeffrey McHale

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Elizabeth Berkeley was destroyed after Showgirls first came out but has found acceptance finally. That scene in You Don’t Nomi at the 20th anniversary screening was so moving. Do you feel sorry for her?

Absolutely! She was unfairly singled out in 1995. I’m happy with the response the documentary has received thus far specifically around the reaction to Elizabeth’s performance at the time. I think we’re fascinated by the question of what exactly happened on set because it seems like knowing the answer would help us better understand how a ‘masterpiece of shit’ like this could happen in the first place. In my film we even get glimpses of their insights, but of course they’re contradictory, and especially confusing when we look at how some of the cast talks about it now. But all of that only heightens our curiosity. We’d probably ask the same of Mommie Dearest if Faye Dunaway weren’t so notoriously unapproachable. Elizabeth doesn’t seem that way, so we ask the question. But I still don’t think that means we’ll ever get an answer that truly lands on exactly how and why camp happens. The mystique of camp is part of its allure.

Amen! The rape of Molly has always been reviled by critics – but in some way do you think it needed to be as brutal to show to highlight the vile way some men and big business men behave? 

This was the biggest thing that stood out to me when I went back and watched all of Verhoeven’s other films. Just about every single one of his films features a sexual assault of some sort. Verhoeven’s work is surprisingly repetitious. The rape and revenge scene in Showgirls is the most controversial element of the film. It was impossible to not address it and look at it’s connections within Verhoeven’s other films. From what I can tell he’s still operating from the archaic belief that voluntary sex work is bad or shameful and that it brings punishment to those involved. Verhoeven has been very clear that his intention is to hold a mirror up to society and depict the world as it is, and not as we wish it to be. The MeToo and TimesUp movement is beautiful and is one that is created by survivors. Paul Verhoeven doesn’t have the authority to decide that he’s the one to hold a mirror up to society in regards to sexual assault and neither do I. In speaking to my contributors  It was important to have equally valued perspectives that don’t always allign with each other but also don’t compete.

You chose not to interview the cast and crew involved on the film – have any of them been in touch since? 

From the beginning, I knew I didn’t want to tell a behind the scenes or making-of story. What I find most interesting is how the conversation around Showgirls and our relationship to it is always changing. The movie we live with today and our understanding of it has more to do with the fans, critics, and drag performers, who have reshaped the narrative and reclaimed it for themselves. We have yet to hear from any of the original cast or crew, but hope they will see and appreciate.

Do you think if someone were to remake the film in another twenty years how different do you think the film would be?

There’s no doubt that cult audiences and the queer community have kept Showgirls alive for all these years through pure adoration. That kind of audience-driven revival prompted some critics to see it in a new light or at least appreciate it differently as a movie that deserves its own place in history. There are also those of us who either grew up on Showgirls or who discovered our taste in film or camp culture with Showgirls already in our consciousness. Our standards for what is offensive or shocking has definitely evolved over the last 25 years too and I think that’s helped us all see beyond provocative elements to a film that is uniquely flawed, but succeeds because of those flaws. To be clear, I don’t think Showgirls should ever be remade. In another 20 years when we look back, and new generations discover it,  I think we will be having different conversations around Showgirls.

You Don’t Nomi is available to rent on Curzon Home Cinema, BFI Player, iTunes, Amazon Prime Video,  Rakuten TV, Google Play and Sky Store

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Joey Graffeca and Daniel Preda announce split in vomit-inducing YouTube blubfest!

July 14, 2020, 7:27 am
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If there’s one thing you do today – WATCH THIS HIDEOUS CLIP!

Erm… WARNING! Don’t watch this clip below while you’re eating. You may puke. Actually, whether you are eating or not, just a couple of minutes of watching this attention-seeking blubfest will make those of you with the strongest of constitutions feel like hurling. A lot!

YouTube sensation Joey Graffeca and boyfriend Daniel Preda have taken to YouTube to announce – yes ANNOUNCE – that they have split up after six years of dating. Sad? Er…. No, really queasy, actually.

In what must be one of the most contrived and sickly video clips ever to appear on Facebook (Yes, even more so than that hideous James Charles apology video), the two handsome lads sob their way through a heavily edited fourteen minute video in which they explain that after six years they have decided to go their separate ways. Awww!

While in most instances, our hearts would most definitely go out to anyone who is experiencing heartbreak, when we watched this video we couldn’t help but feel that these boys were manipulating their young and gullible audience using faux tears, hunched shoulders and lots of syrupy insincere guff, making it all feel very hard to digest!

According to the clip, the blubby pair broke up THREE months ago but have had to live together during lockdown.

But for some reason, we find their heartache hard to swallow.

For one, Joey and Daniel split three months ago, so surely they’ve had enough time to get over the true pain and stop the waterworks (invisible as they appear to be). Also, during this vomit-inducing fourteen minute whine, they admit that while they are no longer romantically involved there is certainly no beef between them and will continue to see each other. So why the tears?

However, it’s the series of edit cuts that make this whole clip feel so contrived and manipulative. Instead of a natural genuine free flowing out-pouring of emotion in which they share with their fans their sad news, they have actually sat down afterwards to spool through the footage and edit it, making it feel very icky indeed.

But enough of us banging on about it. Grab a cuppa, take a seat and try to avoid puking as you watch this horrific clip!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X4_AmX6Rg8Q

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Steve Anderson: “Impossible Princess was Kylie scratching an itch!”

July 20, 2020, 6:26 am
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It might be the album that has been described by critics as one of the forgotten gems of the 1990s, but it’s the one Kylie Minogue record that has Kylie Minogue fans at loggerheads after a few shandies.

Impossible Princess, the Aussie superstar’s brief foray into experimental dance, was already considered something of a commercial risk due to its lack of classic pop moments, but due to external events, the album was faced with with tougher obstacles.

The record had originally been due to come out in the autumn of 1997. However, when Princess Diana died in a car crash in Paris, the record was held back out of respect until the following year.

After a soft release in Russia, Japan and Poland in October 1997, the album finally debuted in Australia in January 1998, where it was warmly received by fans and critics alike. However, Brit fans had to wait another two months to get their lugholes around the new album – which by then had been renamed Kylie Minogue. However, when the ravenous devotees did get their paws on the record, many were shocked to their very foundations by the odd experimental nature of tracks like Too Far, Limbo and Jump. As a result, it sold just over 40k copies in the UK and has remained to this day one of Kylie’s divisive albums.

But this week Steve Anderson, the album’s producer and an integral part of Kylie’s team, has spoken out in defence of the Aussie superstar’s most divisive album and says that he is proud of the record but understands why fans are divided.

Speaking to Christy G and Kieran, the hosts of popular new Kylie Minogue podcast The Diminutive Collection, the Confide In Me songwriter said: “I think it’s a moment in time. Some critics will look back and say it’s the lost gem of the 90s and others won’t. Every fan has their version of Kylie – some will like Impossible Princess and some will like the pop album.”

In the in depth interview, Steve, who has also written and produced tracks for the likes of Claire Richards, Mark Feehily, Girls Aloud, Holly Valance and many more, said that he is incredibly proud of the work he did with Kylie on Impossible Princess because the record gave the one time bubble gum pop singer a chance to finally establish herself as a credible songwriter.

“The songwriter in Kylie was really coming out, especially in the lyrics,” he said during the podcast. “I obviously know the album is for some people and isn’t for other people, and maybe isn’t what some people would have wanted from her. But I genuinely believe it was a very important record for her to make at the time, even if for nothing else for what to come back from after it. I think it was an itch that needed to be scratched.”

Steve also revealed that Kylie was able to wave goodbye to her pop puppet days of PWL because her new label allowed her to do what she liked in the studio.

“DeConstruction gave her a lot of artistic freedom,” he recalled. “We wondered how far can we push this. We weren’t making an album that was a pop album, or a record with hits on. We were writing and doing stuff and doing songs.  We were experimenting. I mean, it was the time of Massive Attack and Tricky and Portishead. Some of the lyrics Kylie was coming out with I would defy any – for wont of a better term –  ‘pop star’ to come up with some of those things.”

Although Steve admits he and Kylie were proud at the time with the outcome of their experimental opus, the label were concerned that there were no ‘pop’ moments to push to radio.

“When we delivered it, it was a ten track album and was before the Manic Street Preachers were involved,” Steve said. “And we thought ‘this is a lovely piece of work’, but we didn’t think it would sell gazillions. We were very proud of it. Then the label thought they were going to struggle with radio so they got James [Dean Bradfield] on board to write a couple of extra songs (Some Kind Of Bliss, I Don’t Need Anyone] that was fantastic. It did what it needed to do.”

Although the record’s reception failed to excite many of Kylie’s pop-thirsty fans, Steve admits that when he joined Kylie Down Under on her Live & Intimate tour, which he produced, he was pleased to see that Aussie fans had really taken to the record.

“It was helpful when I went to Australia because I saw how much they had embraced it,” Steve said. “I realised that there will always be someone somewhere who will love it. Australia really embraced it. If we hadn’t have done the Live & Intimate tour, we wouldn’t have had Dancing Queen – so everything has a reason.”

And that moment of camp genius which saw Kylie singing the ABBA classic backed by two beefcake dancers in pink feathers, led to Kylie’s comeback disco album Light Years in 2000. But Steve says that he and Kylie had already decided to move away from experimental sounds and star writing a pop long before she had signed to new record deal with Parlophone.

 

“When I started working on Light Years I didn’t know it was going to be Light Years,” he said. “It was before she signed to Parlophone. So when we were writing So Now Goodbye, there was no Spinning Around. That song came much later, nearer the end. We were at Real World and doing things like B-sides like Harmony and Cover Me With Kisses before the Parlophone deal was there.”

And on the subject of Spinning Around, the chart-topping single that helped Kylie claim her pop princess title, Steve admits that when he first heard the track, he wasn’t convinced it would be a hit.

“The first time I heard Spinning Around was the demo version,’ he recalls. “I liked it but I didn’t love it. But then when I heard the single version I thought that’s amazing.”  And the rest is history.

Hear more from Steve in the world’s ONLY Kylie fan podcast The Diminutive Collection, available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts and other popular outlets. The Diminutive Collection with is hosted by Christy G and Kieran, who each week look back at the pop princess’s amazing albums. 

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Enjoy humpday by drooling over these pics of this Instahunk

July 22, 2020, 7:11 am
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WARNING: IF YOU DON’T LIKE GUYS WITH BIG MUSCLES, PLEASE SKIP THIS STORY!

Although GuysLikeU was conceived to help out young gays trying to navigate their ways through life (which we do rather well, thank you very much), we also like to satisfy readers’ thirsts from time to time.

Yes, we know these days it’s deemed inappropriate to fantasise about boys with buff bods (for God’s sake, when did it actually become a crime to fancy people because they look good????) but we don’t care! Yes, we are proudly GUILTY of posting the occasional thirst pic for your pleasure. So sue us!

But for those who like bit of Wednesday afternoon titilation, we’re sure you’ll be happy be get giddy over one particular lovely. Regular GLU readers will remember this gorgeous fella, Mike Wring. He was the towering 6ft7 hunk we spotted trailing behind TV’s Andi Peters on Good Morning Britain almost two years ago. He was on the show because had had been one of ITV’s competition winners who scooped a huge cash prize. The lucky rascal!

We then tracked the fella down we discovered that behind the handsome, hulking exterior was a man with a lot of baggage.

In a heartfelt series of interviews Mike told us how he had been cruelly bullied at school and had suffered years of body image and mental health issues which he had thankfully overcome.

He also revealed that even though he is now in control of his body image, there is always a danger that his body dysmorphia could return. Luckily, he’s in a fabulous place and long may he be!

Of course, as he’s drop dead gorgeous, we’ve been keeping an eye on the chap ever since and we are pleased to say that life is better for him than ever.

In fact over the past year, Mike has started to fulfil his dream of becoming an actor and has appeared in small roles in shows such as Doctor Who, Spanish Princess, Industry and Gangs of London.

He also tells us that he has even more exciting projects lined up which he can’t tell us about just yet!

Anyway, enough guff from us… feast your eyes on this gorgeous gentle giant and check out this newest pic of him showing off what God very kindly gave him! (With a bit of extra work!)

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KNOCKOUT! BAGA CHIPZ blasts HOMOPHOBIC AND TRANSPHOBIC BOXER OUT OF THE WATER!

July 22, 2020, 8:01 am
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Professional boxer James Hawley has been ditched by his management company after drag queen superstar Baga Chipz named and shamed him for launching a vile verbal attack on gay men and transgender people.

In a now deleted clip – which many will find offensive – the twatty boxer verbally abuses gay and trans men, branding them “dirty c**ts”.

As soon Baga saw the clip, she swiftly reposted it and scathed: “Today’s Scum is no other than “pro boxer” and really hard man James Hawley. Homophobic Filth. What a hard man. Report the Low life. What an absolute piece of dirt.”

She added: “Start on the LGBT+ community especially my trans brothers and sisters and I will speak to your assistant, then your agent, then your senior manager then your general manager and then THE manager. Especially if you are a little Pussy ass bitch.”

Hours after posting about the vile twat, Bags was pleased to inform her fans that his management company had ditched him from their line up!

In a statement MTKGlobal said: “The management team have made the decision to terminate Mr Hawley’s contract with MTK with immediate effect. The boxing community is about respect and unity and MTK Global prides itself on its community focus and inclusive ethos.”

Well done Baga!

The post KNOCKOUT! BAGA CHIPZ blasts HOMOPHOBIC AND TRANSPHOBIC BOXER OUT OF THE WATER! appeared first on Guys Like U.

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PREVIEW: Baga Chipz teams up with Courtney Act for new ITV2 singing show!

August 13, 2020, 7:04 am
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TV drag sensation Baga Chipz may not have won Drag Race but she’s certainly going from strength to strength.

Following on from dazzling appearances on Pointless Celebrities and Celebrity Masterchef, the scrummy Brummy is set to appear on a new ITV2 singing show called Celebrity Karaoke Club.

Baga says she can’t wait to appear on the show, that also features Courtney Act, Scarlett Moffatt, Jess Wright, Samira from Love Island, Loose Women’s Judi Love, IbizaWeekender David Potts, Roman Kemp and more.

We reckon Baga will do pretty well in the show as she has a belter of a voice and enjoyed a top five hit with Break Up (Bye Bye).

Celebrity Karaoke Club launches in the autumn.

 

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Mr Gay World 2020: “Being too concerned about the way we look can be very destructive”

August 17, 2020, 2:01 am
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These days beauty pageants tend to be frowned upon for being exploitative and out of date – or so killjoy naysayers with sinister outlooks on life would have us believe. But ask any of the competitors taking part, and they will tell you just how much they enjoy dressing up, sharing their viewpoints and working with charities to help change the world. 

Thankfully, in the gay world, participating in pageants seems to be a lot more acceptable – though we’re waiting for some busybody to come along and ban them. One of the most popular competitions is Mr Gay World, an annual international contest for big hearted and beautiful men to help spread the LGBTQ+ word. And while it continues to attract fans and competitors, 2020 sadly saw the contest cancelled due to that blasted Covid.

However, organisers were not beaten! Instead, keen to keep the competition alive in spite pf the global pandemic, they decided to offer the 2019 runner up Fran Alvarado the title instead – just weeks after he himself was struck down with the icky virus. 

Speaking to GuysLikeU, the handsome 30-year old medic, who works at the Lavapiés Health Centre in Madrid, opens up about taking on the challenge of being Mr Gay World, how he struggled coming to terms with his sexuality and reveals his body insecurities. 
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Hoy se ha inaugurado en #Torremolinos la exposición fotográfica sobre @pasajebegona de @xe_marz en la que he podido participar. Esta es una de las imágenes expuestas titulada “LA GRAN REDADA” que hace referencia a la gran redada que tuvo lugar en el Pasaje Begoña el 24 de junio de 1971 que afectó a más de 300 personas, y según las fuentes, 114 de ellas fueron arrestadas por “atentar contra la moral y las buenas costumbres”. Algunas fueron encarceladas y los extranjeros fueron deportados. A todas les fue abierto un expediente policial y se les amenazó con estar “bajo vigilancia de las autoridades”, con consecuencias aún peores en caso de reincidencia. La “gran redada” supuso un ataque al Pasaje Begoña porque se clausuraron para siempre aquellos locales. También fue un ataque contra la libertad que avergonzó al mundo. @mrgayespana #MrGayEspaña2018 #stonewall #lgtbiq

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Congratulations  What did taking part Mr Gay World mean to you?  

I took part so that I could continue giving visibility to the LGBTQ+ community and to learn more about  activism. I wanted to collaborate with LGBTIQ+ associations and do speak out internationally. I wanted to show what was going on in my country and learn what’s going on in other countries as there are some countries around the world where homosexuality is still  condemned.

You came runner up last year, but this year you were named the winner. How did this happen? 

As a doctor, I was treating COVID patients when I received the call from Mr. Gay Pride Spain giving me the news. As Mr Gay World 2020 had to be cancelled due to the pandemic, the organisation decided to give me the role of  world ambassador for 2020. I was very excited and grateful for the recognition.

So let’s look back to when you were younger. Where did you grow up? What was family life was it? 

I grew up in Montánchez, a town south of Cáceres with less than 2,000 people. I grew up with my grandparents in a country house surrounded by animals and nature.

Did you know you were gay from an early age?   

I think I realised that I was gay from a very young age because I paid a lot of attention to the boys and I liked playing with the girls. When I was about 12 years old I told a Swiss boy who was vacationing in our town that I was gay. But it was my first love disappointment.

Was gay something you found hard  to accept? 

Realising that I was gay was very hard because I thought it was a bad thing. Also, I did not know any LGBTQ+ people in my town, which made me feel very alone.  I had a hard time accepting my homosexuality. To start with I said I was bisexual because it was just easier to tell my friends and family that.

Who was the person you were most worried to tell?

I was afraid to tell everyone to start with because I didn’t know how they were going to react. Especially my family. I was so afraid of disappointing them or of them not accepting me.

Who was the first person you told and what was their reaction?

The first person I told about being bisexual was my childhood best friend. Her reaction was very good and surprising at the same time. It was an innocent confession because we were both 14 years old and we still didn’t quite understand what sexual orientation was.

Was it hard to be gay not knowing anyone else gay around you? 

A friend of my mine who was around the same age also confessed to me that he was gay, but we both didn’t know how to act because we both considered being homosexual as something wrong. So there was a long time that we felt anguish and had the fear of rejection.

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Podéis seguir viendo el video de presentación que hemos hecho desde @mrgayespana 🇪🇸para @mgworg 🏳️‍🌈 en el enlace de YouTube que está en la descripción de mi perfil. Cada visualización, me gusta y comentario cuenta. 🇬🇧 Thanks for watching the link in my bio. You can share, like and comment 🤗 #MrGayEspaña2018 🇪🇸 #haztevisibleeneltrabajo #MrGayWorld2019 #MGW2019 #CapeTown #SouthAfrica #AtThePresidentHotelCapeTown #CityofCT #lovecapetown #CapeTownTourism #CttConnect #LGBTQTravel #TheSocialMediaCompany #gaypagessa #Mambaonline #exitnewspaper #PinkSixty #UDataZA #WTM_Africa #IGLTA #GerritPrinslooProductions #XOXOfndn #carstensian #AlanFordProductions #atthepresident

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Did religion play a part in your fear about being gay? 

Religion did not play a major role in my fear of coming out of the closet. Homophobia is so widespread. You become so scared that the last thing you’re worried about is whether or not religion will accept you, because in that desperate point you don’t hesitate to kick the faith away to defend yourself.

You say you lived with your grandparents. How did they react? 

My grandmother asked me directly if I was gay when I was 16 years old, she was in charge of telling the rest of the family. At first they were worried if they hurt me, but they supported me a lot from the first moment.

Some young people coming to terms with their sexuality tend to suffer from mental health issues. Did you go through any tough times? 

Not really. I was lucky enough to be able to talk to a social worker at my institute who helped me a lot to manage my emotions and come out of the closet.

That’s good. How was life at school? 

When I was little I liked to play with the girls and that saw the other boys call me things like “faggot”. So I spent the rest of my childhood trying to prove that I was not gay and that I was as masculine as the rest.

You trained as doctor. Was uni an eye-opener? Was it a place where you were able to explore your sexuality? 

Uni life was nothing like my school life. By then I had already defined my personality and was more mature. During my degree, it was clear to me that I was gay and that is when I had my first boyfriend for 2 years.

When you were properly out did you throw yourself into the gay scene? 

At first, I talked to boys on chat sites. It was not easy and everything was done secretly. I remember Was 18 when I first stepped foot into a gay bar. It was a very small place, but I was amazed with the amount of handsome gay boys there were. It was there that I met my current group of friends.

Was it a world that you enjoyed or was it one where you didn’t feel like you belong? 

At the beginning, I thought it was a world I didn’t belong in. In fact, it seemed like an insult to me. Over the years I started to enjoy it and I became proud of being gay.

Has looking for love been a priority? 

I love men and I have no problem jumping from one man to another one so that I find someone more special. I have been single for six years. There have been a few almost-relationships but in the end they turned out to be nothing more than meeting someone for a few months.

What kind of boyfriend are you?

I guess that would be better explained by someone who has been out with me. But I consider myself a very loving, fun, good and sexual person. I have always dreamed of finding Prince Charming and having my own children. As I have got older I have stopped believing in fairy tales and am more realistic when it comes to relationships. I understand a good relationship can only be based on trust.

What do you look for in a guy? Is it all about looks or do you see past that and look deeper?

What physically strikes me the most about a boy is his smile and his eyes. I look closely at their hands. I like tenderness – it arouses me and awakens my wildest side at the same time. I like a natural, funny, good person and loving guy.

Do you think gay men – humans actually –  are capable of sticking to one person at a time?

Of course I believe in monogamy, but as I have said previously, as I have grown, I contemplate other ways of living with love.

Have you had many meaningful relationships?

I consider that I have had two serious relationships. One lasted two years and the other lasted three. Then I met special boys who I love very much and, despite being relationships of a shorter duration, they were also intense.

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Y no hay que ser un lince para darse cuenta de que he engordado, pero aún así hay gente empecinada en recordármelo y sentencian que no soy capaz de mostrarme en peores versiones. Pues aquí va otra prueba más de ello, sin retoques digitales y luciendo mis 87 kg con una gran sonrisa. Es triste que personas con poca autoestima y MUCHAS inseguridades, en vez de trabajar su propia inteligencia emocional y querer más, se empeñen en sobresalir sobre los demás sacando a relucir las debilidades de otrxs y estén dispuestos a pisotear a quien se les cruce en el camino. En ese aspecto, por suerte, soy consciente de mi cuerpo, de sus versiones y de las circunstancias que lo acompañan. ¿Qué es mejor y qué peor? ¿Cuál es el orden de las prioridades en tu vida? ¿Qué nos hace más o menos felices? Pues no es cuestión de centrar todo el protagonismo en el físico, ni es necesario exhibirse, pero por redes sociales es lo que nos entra por los ojos. Usamos esta superficialidad como referente en nuestro día a día, aunque nos haga sentir inferiores, aunque demos por hecho que mostramos nuestros mejores momentos por Instagram. Nos seguimos ciñendo en exclusiva a este escaparate, sin hacer referencia a otros aspectos de la vida menos estéticos, que no aparecen y que darían realismo a esta realidad virtual. Nos justificamos y tiramos balones fuera. Apariencias, complejos, ansiedad, envidias, depresiones… todo ello engranado en el seno de una sociedad, cada día, con menos habilidades de comunicación y más prejuicios. ¡Claro que tengo prejuicios! Cada vez que me enfrento a un/a paciente nuevx o conozco a alguien. Y me esfuerzo en romperlos, en trabajar ese margen que permite a otrxs darse a conocer y que nuestras impresiones, por fin, tengan fundamento. Oportunidades porque yo también hago y haré cosas mal… sé tan poco de tantos temas… lloro tantas veces de emoción… necesito desconectar tantas veces para recargar las pilas… me rio tantas veces de mí… Que cada día me da menos miedo mostrarme como soy, de verdad. Cada vez busco más la felicidad de ser libre 👨🏽‍⚕️🤸🏾‍♂️🌈 #CUÉNTASELOALAPAKA

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Have you had any destructive relationships?

I was in a relationship in which my partner had not accepted his homosexuality and that was quite difficult to manage. But it could be said that a constructive relationship in which we both learned.

Do you think we search people out who we think will make us better people? 

Of course yes, at least in my case. I like to surround myself with people who bring out my best version of me and bring my life positive things. 

You’re a handsome guy. Do you think your looks have opened doors for you? 

Being good looking does catch some people’s attention. It helps, but there are other values beyond the physical one that come into play right away

Have you always been happy about the way you look? 

I have always been comfortable with my body. These days there is a lot of pressure in terms of aesthetics and I sometimes worry about hair loss or body hair or being fat

Do you think gay men are obsessed with the body beautiful – do you think this can be destructive? 

I do think we are too concerned with the physical aspect of ourselves and I think that can be very destructive. I believe that the focus of attention should be on healthy habits and that is accompanied by good aesthetics. We are obsessed to the point of completely changing our lifestyle and even acquiring harmful habits for our health. This can lead to anxiety disorders, depression and in some extreme cases suicide.

You’re very open about your insecurities – penis size, putting on weight, balding – where do you find this confidence

 It is very difficult to recognise our defects, show our weakest points or least fit in today’s society. There is nothing more gratifying than knowing yourself, accepting yourself and finding happiness in that freedom of being yourself. There is much destructive criticism that fosters hatred. I am angry that insecure or envious people resort to insults or to emphasise the problems of others to feel superior.

A lot of gay men use instagram as a means to boost their self esteem – do you have a healthy relationship with social media?  

I try to. There are some occasions when you become obsessed with followers and likes and if you do not receive that feedback it feels that you do not fit in. There are many filters and digital tweaks on instagram that distort reality and can generate more insecurity in other people who compare themselves. Keep in mind that most people tend to show the best part of our life or even exaggerate it and that creates a false sense of reality that only fools you and others.

What would you say to your 12 year old self about the future.

I would say that it is normal to be afraid of the unknown, to be calm, to continue discovering the reality that surrounds you. Remember that over time you will understand everything that will bring you tranquility and happiness.

As a doctor has it been heartbreaking to see so many people lose their lives 

It is very hard to see people get sick and much sadder to see people die. It has been physically and mentally exhausting, but it has been very rewarding and comforting to be able to leave home to go to work and be able to help other people.

Were you scared when you had the virus 

Well, the truth is that I was not really scared because I was infected at the beginning of the pandemic, in March. We did not know much about the disease or the severity of cases in young patients. We thought that it only mainly affected the elderly population or patients with previous pathologies.

What did you learn about yourself? 

I was isolated for nineteen days without leaving my room and I am lucky that I adapt quite well to different situations. I took the opportunity to continue helping from home doing interviews and answering questions from patients via social media.

How will this change the way we think as humans?

I believe that it has helped us to stop, to slow down that frenetic lifestyle that we lead, making a thousand plans without time to enjoy them or rest. It has helped us to value time and quality of life. We have reconciled with ourselves and have appreciated relationships with our loved ones and with our environment. I hope that this vision and solidarity will continue when this pandemic ends.

The post Mr Gay World 2020: “Being too concerned about the way we look can be very destructive” appeared first on Guys Like U.

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SACRE BLEU! Is Selling Sunset’s Romain Bonnet the most handsome man in the world?

August 17, 2020, 2:59 am
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If you love trash reality shows packed with impossibly glam girls, insanely hunky studs and lots of drama, you need to check out Netflix series Selling Sunset. Set in a swanky real estate office in LA, this super campy series, which is now in its third season, follows the wild and complicated lives of a group of glossy gals who spend their days selling the plushest pads you’ve ever seen and their out-of-office hours bickering and storming dramatically out of parties in incredible heels.

Camp barely describes this show. But it is. With big fat glittery bells on. While Christine Quinn is the must see of the show – she’s practically a drag queen – we are particularly smitten with the show’s gorgeous heartthrob, Romain Bonnet. He’s the six-foot-plus French model and baker who married one of the real estate gals, Mary Fitzgerald back in series one. Not only is he fabulously gallic, he’s also mind-whirlingly handsome, even if his accent is strong (but fabulously sexy.)  He likes rock climbing, scuba-diving, plays volleyball and even ice skates. So perhaps we might see him on Dancing On Ice one day! He also has size 12 feet… which is where we will leave it for now!

If you haven’t seen the show check it out because once you are tune in, you’ll be gripped. But if not, let us introduce you to Mr Bonnet (pronounced Bonnay not Bonn-et!) to whet your appetite.

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We don’t control our feeling, deep down. Loving, is sharing, helping, supporting the people we really love around us. With @themaryfitzgerald we have up and down like everyone, but this girl god damn, she is special ! She makes me so happy everyday. When you find that person that makes you happy like that, life becomes amazing, and so much more fun. 🙏🏼❤️ I’m grateful for meeting this amazing person, just 2 days after I came to LA. Since that we never left each other. I have a warrior by my side that I’m so proud of, and I can’t wait to see what’s the futur is preparing for us ! 🙏🏼🤩😬 • 📸 by @cheyannadenicolaphoto 💯🙌🏼 • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • #photoshoot #photography #photographer #pic #engagementphotos #couple #couplesgoals #mood #alive #alchemy #sunset #hollywood #runyoncanyon #her #love #maryfitzgerald #romainbonnet #sellingsunset #netflix #model #fashion

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The post SACRE BLEU! Is Selling Sunset’s Romain Bonnet the most handsome man in the world? appeared first on Guys Like U.

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Christine Quinn – why she’s every gay guy’s perfect best mate!

August 17, 2020, 4:19 am
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Selling Sunset is the smash hit reality series on Netflix that everyone is talking about. Set in an LA real estate office, it follows the ups and downs in the lives of a gaggle of glamour pusses who flog plush pads by day and falling out with each other at night. If you haven’t seen it yet, take our expert advice and bingewatch the motherfu*ker ASAP, so you actually have something to talk about with your pals.

If reality shows aren’t your thing, then watch Selling Sunset for two reasons. One, Romain Bonnet, simply the most handsome man you will ever see and two, Christine Quinn, an Amazonian goddess who is so deliciously camp we expect her to be either a judge or even a participant on the next series of RuPaul’s Drag Race.

Not only does this reality icon wear some of the most amazing outfits we have ever seen, she can roll her eyes, grimace and look shocked and still look uber glam! She’s our hero. In fact, she’s what every gay guy needs in their lives. Imagine the nights out with the wicked Ms Quinn!

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They call us a “Bitch” like its a bad thing?.. ☎️

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Of course, what we love most about Christine, is her direct approach to life and refreshing understanding of the media world. She doesn’t pull any punches. She lets anyone around her have it. And that is very refreshing in a world of fake air kisses and veneer-packed smiles.

In a recent interview with People magazine in the US, Christine set the world to rights….. Here are the highlights. 

On being Selling Sunset‘s villain.

I guess I am the quote-unquote “show villain,” but I love it. I think it’s funny and I think people enjoy it at the end of the day, people that love me really love me. When I’m on camera, I have fun with it. I have a background in comedy. I love to make people laugh, and my whole goal in life has just been to entertain people and make them feel something.  I just think the misconception is that I’m just constantly this one-note bitch — and I am a bitch, don’t get me wrong. But there’s other elements to me. I’m super sweet and caring and empathetic, and I do a lot for people.

Her relationship with Chrishell. 

Well, her and I are not on the best terms. I’ve definitely tried. I did my best effort. It’s unfortunate. She just really didn’t want to be friends. She made it apparent she only wanted to co-exist.

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This Quarantine turning this hoe in to a housewife.. 🍳 👠

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On Davina being the REAL villain of the series.

The thing with Davina is, she’s German, and people don’t even know that. She’s got that very German vibe to her: She’s not over the top and bubbly and crazy and wild. I told her she needs to work on it. She’s, well, I think it’s all about the delivery and your words and your voice cadence and how you’re talking with people. With her, she really did get a bad edit. They never showed her smiling, they never showed her laughing. [I think] they did that on purpose. I 100 percent [gave her a makeover]. I take all credit. I told her, “Listen, Davina, stop with the mom blazers. Please, let me dress you.” She started coming over to my house, and I was like, “Here, put this on.” She was like, “I don’t know, it’s too sexy.” I’m like, “Come on, just do it.” Yes, that was all me, and I’m really happy that you noticed. She thought the show was about real estate, bless her heart. I can’t say that without laughing. When she realized, she was like, “Oh, wow. I realize I didn’t look good in season one.” I’m like, “It’s okay, it’s fine. You learn.” But it is a show, at the end of the day — so let’s put on a show.

On her eight month marriage to Christian 

We’re doing great. We’re best friends. It’s awesome. I just wish we could travel, obviously, but that’s okay. I’ve been cooking. I’ve turned this hoe into a housewife, and I’m Martha Stewart-ing, every night, making homemade pasta and doing the stuff I never had the time to do before. It’s actually really great. I do enjoy it!

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Did you guys notice it was bleeding?! 🩸 🎂

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Working the press.

At the end of the day, we all have press. We all pay someone on retainer to put our names out there. The difference is, I own up to it. I can understand that paparazzi don’t come out of the bushes. I have a whole team for this. Heather was in denial a little bit about how the situation works. She was like, “It’s weird, we go to places an

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Humble with a hint of 2007 Britney. Tag that friend.

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Her style

It’s quite a process, I’ll tell you that much. For interviews and certain events, other people do my makeup, but I actually do my own makeup because I love putting on my make-up. My hair takes a minimum about two hours, depending on what I’m doing to it. I give myself a four-hour window from when I have to leave my house. It’s a production.

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🕷🕸🕷

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How did you get into real estate?

I was originally a model and an actress, but weren’t we all? I was getting cast in the same roles. I wanted to do comedy, and I was only being showcased in dumb-girl roles, so I got really tired of it. I got into real estate with Jason [Oppenheim], who’s a friend of mine, and I’ve been in real estate for about five and a half years. I really love it. I think it’s a great job for someone that wants to work for themselves, and has the motivation to do it, because you don’t get a paycheque unless you sell something. You’ve got to be your own boss, but I’m great at that. I love my boss, she’s fabulous.

The post Christine Quinn – why she’s every gay guy’s perfect best mate! appeared first on Guys Like U.

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MUST WATCH TV: We’re Here! When Too Wong Foo gets the reality TV treatment (Kinda!)

August 17, 2020, 3:11 pm
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You may remember that last summer, Channel 4 screened a heartwarming reality show called Drag SOS, in which a bus load of queens travelled the UK and transformed the humdrum lives of downhearted folks by dressing them up in garish gowns and wild wigs. The show was a joy and we immediately took Cheddar Gorgeous, Anna Phylactic, Lill, TeTe Bang and Liquorice Black to our hearts.

Now a year on, the Yanks have come up with their own version of exactly the same show, only this time it’s called We’re Here. Starring Drag Race icons Bob The Drag Queen, Eureka O’Hara and Shangela, this technicolor feelgood series kicked off its run on HBO back in April 2020, and has now just arrived on Sky One in the UK.

Like the British show it heavily borrows from (both series are – surprisingly – created by a different team), We’re Here is basically a reality TV version of the much-loved Patrick Swayze / Wesley Snipes movie Too Wong Foo, in which drag queens infiltrate a not very progressive town to recruit residents needing emotional help to participate in one-night-only drag performances.

As expected, the American production values are a lot more polished than the Brot version – the queens have a lot more sass and style and the heartstrings are pulled even tighter.

In episode one, for example, the queens visit Gettysburg where they meet a mum who rejected her bisexual daughter who is desperately trying to make amends with her. It’s a story that will break your heart as we watch a heartbroken mother try to convince her daughter to forgive her from her past religious beliefs that ultimately wrecked her family!

In episode two we meet Clifton, a gorgeous young guy from the town of Twin Falls who similarly wants to make up for the dodgy attitudes he had in his youth when he failed to understand the difficult lives of the LGBT community.

The queens also meet three very awkward and oddly introverted drag queens in need of some serious coaching and a trans man and his wife who want to recreate the wedding day that was married by their parents not attending.

We could go on but we reckon you get the message. All you need to know is, We’re Here is one of those emotional shows that will have you weeping buckets of tears. So make sure you have enough tissues to hand while you’re bingewatching the six part series.

And of you want more of the show there’s some good news – the show has gone down storm in the US and has been nominated for a couple of Emmys and a second series is on its way! So come on folks, get bingeing and be one step ahead!

The post MUST WATCH TV: We’re Here! When Too Wong Foo gets the reality TV treatment (Kinda!) appeared first on Guys Like U.

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